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Blogi
It´s my B-Day!!!Keskiviikko 03.06.2009 16:19
This made me think.. I hope it makes you as well...Maanantai 01.06.2009 05:40
"So, you think you know something abut self-injury. Well, we'll see.
Have you ever felt so aggressive, afraid, angry, belittled, betrayed,
bitter, cheated, confused, depressed, deceived, disappointed, foolish, empty,
insecure, hopeless, frustrated, lonely, lost, miserable, numb, pained,
picked-on, rejected, small, sorry, stupid, suffocated, tense, terrified, useless,
un-wanted, un-loved, un-important, worried, wrung-out, worn-out,
withdrawn, ticked, tortured, trapped, and blank that you've turned to
hurting yourself just to feel something different?
I'm not talking about telling yourself how horrible, stupid, or ugly you
are. I'm talking about cutting, burning, hitting, bruising, picking, digging,
biting, and scratching at your skin. I'm talking about hair pulling, head-
banging, bone-breaking; interfering with your healing would behavior.
Just because people self-injure, doesn't mean you'll know about it.
Many people who self-abuse hide it, or do it somewhere normally un-seen.
They also blame animals, plants, and accidents for their marks.
It is important to remember that self-harm isn't masochism. There is,
however, a fine line between the two.
Masochists hurt themselves to get off, for the pleasure, the rush, and
the high.
Self-mutilators hurt themselves to release whatever it is that is
bothering them at the time. They may also cause harm to themselves as a
punishment for something they did or said.
This paper is for the un-educated and the skeptical people when it
comes to self-injury. Hopefully, you learn something you don't already
know. Whether it be that you are not alone, or that people who do this are
not monstrosities. They just are in need or help, and have found self-injury
to be their coping mechanism and their release from the horrible emotions
from everyday life.
Self-Injury can enter someone's life in many ways. Normally, a person has one or both of depression and/or eating disorder. Three out of four people who suffer from eating disorders or depression fall into the addiction of self-injury.
Self-Injury has many names. Self-Mutilation, self-harm, S.I.B's, Self Injurious Behavior, self-abuse, S.I., and Para-suicidal behavior are among the most common names. Many people say they cut, or burn, or use another S.I. behavior for the name of this disorder.
For years I have interfered with the healing of cat scratches. I've done this purposely because I liked to see the blood, and I liked the relieving feelings I got from it. Recently, I've been biting the skin around my fingernails to the point of bleeding. These are two examples of self-abuse. I've pulled my hair; sometimes so hard it would come out. I do this as a punishment or out of stress. I also have bitten my hand so hard it marked and bled. I've scratched cuts into my skin, banged my head on things and gotten knots, and done so for relief or punishment. Never once did I know what I did and do was and is self-injuryÂ… A psychological disorder.
I started to cut myself for relief, and read about self-harm. That is when I found out that I'd actually self-mutilated for years. That's also when I realized a lot of people don't know much about it. Most importantly, I realized a lot of people have it and don't get help because they don't recognize it as a problem.
Sometimes people find it hard to categorize self-harm. Some simple ways to tell are as follows:
· Self-injury is a harmful act done to oneself by only oneself.
1. Tattoos, piercing, ritual mutilation, and drug use are not self-injury acts
· Self-harm must involve physical violence.
1. Emotional abuse isn't self-harm
· Self-harm in done with the intention of hurting oneself.
1. Accidentally harming yourself isn't self-harm
· Self-harm is done with absolutely NO intention of committing suicide.
1. Although suicide is intentional, it does not classify as self-harm
2. Suicide is sometimes accidental when self-harming, but it isn't intentional.
Self-injurers usually have some sort of ritual they have when self-harming. This can range from what type of environment they have, what their procedure is, and what type of self-harming instrument they use.
Environment
The environments that are most common are that of the person's own home. The bedroom and bathroom are the most popular places to commit the self-harm acts. Sometimes people add candles, close curtains, have certain times of the day they harm themselves, or a number of other things.
If a past abuse has occurred that had been very traumatic, the setting and time of the self-abusive act could be very similar to the time of when the abusive act from another occurred.
Instrument
Some people refuse to use more then one type of instrument to commit the act of self-harm. Sometimes people will only use razors or knives. Other items people may use range from lighters, hammers, pencils, pens, erasers, safety pins, nails, to clippers. It is all about personal preferences and feeling.
Rituals
Some rituals that people have are preparing their environment. Pre-Injury activities usually consist of this. This can be very calming and satisfying to the individual. Post-Injury activities include using certain disinfectants and ointments. Taking a bath, writing, and drawing are also used to help ease a person after their abuse is committed.
Thoughts before self-harm are those of wanting to hurt oneself; of needing to, of thinking it is the only way they will feel better. They also think that if they only do it a few more times that they will be okay.
During the self-abusive acts, thoughts that people have are those of hating their appearance, personality, and everything about them. They also degrade their intelligence level. People also think that life sucks, and they just wish someone would care about them.
Afterwards, many cannot believe what they have done, and they feel weak and pathetic for doing the abusive act. They also worry about people finding out and not understanding, so they hide it and decide not to tell anyone. They also feel much better, despite the guilt and shame they feel afterwards.
Many things that self-injurers feel, think, and put up with are feelings of embarrassment, shame, guilt, isolation, alienation, comments, vulnerability, loss of control, and many other things.
Shame can be produced by the scars they have and by other external forces, such as parents.
Embarrassment is caused by "unexplained" bald spots, scars, bruises, and other visible, yet temporary marks.
Comments people make, such as, WOW! HOW DID YOU GET THAT! THAT MUST HAVE HURT, are extremely painful to the self-injurer. These comments can produce many negative feelings for the person they are directed at.
Isolation and alienation make people feel crazy and very alone. Not many people give the support and positive attention self-injurers need to over-come the acts they commit.
Vulnerability or loss of control can occur due to Dissociative self-abusive acts. When people come out of a Dissociative episode, losing touch with reality, and find the self-harm mark, it is hard to cope with. This isn't common, but it does happen. People feel vulnerable also because the blood and harm to their flesh give them so many positive feelings. They also feel that they need it. Self-harm is very addicting. Whether a person sees it as an art, or as a release, the addiction is clear and very, very strong.
Now that you know a little about self-injury, let's try and classify the who's and what's of self-harm.
Who self-mutilates?
Usually women do the harmful act at home, in a therapist's office, or other places like that, while men do it while in prison. Both sexes do self-mutilate though.
The act usually is started in the teenage years and increases in the twenties. Most people's need to harm ends in their thirties, but this is not always the case.
Substance abusers, who commit the act of self-harm, usually do so while under the influence. They usually don't commit this act any other time. People with depression and eating disorders self-mutilate because of the similar psychological effects.
Individuals with a past of psychiatric treatment and/or psychological, sexual, or physical abuse are at risk for self-mutilating.
What are the types of Self-Mutilation?
Psychotic/ Major S.I. includes the removal of body parts such as eyes, arms, ears, and genitals. This usually occurs in response to a visual or audible hallucination. This, however, is very rare.
Organic/Stereotypical S.I. stems from Autism, developmental disorders, and other psychologically induced disorders. This is influenced by physical or chemical problems in the body. Examples of this are head-banging and lip-biting. This is the second most common form of self-mutilation. This is common in the Mentally Retarded population.
Typical/Superficial/Moderate S.I. is due to emotional or psychological reasons. This helps people cope with feelings. Examples of this are cutting and burning. These people inflict moderate pain or injury to themselves. This is the most common type of self-injury.
Some people may wonder about the fashion of self-harm. It is important to remember that tattoos, body piercing, and scarification is body modification.
People who self-harm for the art of it do things like pick their scabs, set the area on fire with rubbing alcohol, put ink in the wound, and put cigar ashes in it. Sometimes they just brand the art on themselves using heated metal.
Body art and self-injury are very distinctive. Here are the body art vs. S.I.'s
1. Making a statement vs. Making self feel better
2. Uniqueness vs. Coping
3. Set apart from mainstream vs. Shame
4. Proudly show Vs. Secret
5. Conscious choice vs. Unable to control urge
Self-Injury is a very complex disorder. It releases beta-endorphins that stop pain, make you feel good, and release all those bad nasty feelings. It is also very addictive and symbolic.
Some people do it because it is the only thing that they can control. Some do it because they need to feel and it makes them feel alive. For them, the physical pain is better then the emotional pain.
Picking out someone who self-injures doesn't have to be hard. They are commonly middle to upper-class Caucasian female who is intelligent, well educated, and in the thirteen to thirty-five age groups.
Other factors are physical, emotional, and sexual abuse as a child, parental drug use or alcoholism, parental neglect or abandonment, parental loss from death or divorce, or tense or abusive parental relations.
People also have constant aims for perfection, strong or moderate dislike of body, frequent mood swings, feelings of anger, rejection, failure, loss, helplessness, or abandonment. They also show an inability to cope with strong emotions and inability to release or express emotions to others.
Self-injurers have difficulty expressing and healing emotions. They can't explain their injuries and wear long pants and shirts constantly. They also isolate themselves.
Since self-harm can accidentally cause death or destroy relationships, try and help self-injurers out, Here are some ways you can do that.
1. Attitude, be accepting and open. Don't be judgmental. Make them feel safe and secure in talking
2. Please recognize the severity of their problem. They really are unable to control their urges.
3. Don't get angry! Acknowledge that they are under stress and offer help.
4. If you or they believe they will really hurt or kill themselves, stay with them until the urge is gone. Encourage them not to be alone during these episodes.
5. Encourage them to talk with an adult.
6. This will be very difficult, stressful, and frustrating for you. Be willing to take on the responsibility.
7. Don't threaten them. It is hard enough to quit without worrying of doing the act and reaping the repercussions.
Remember that we are people too. We just some have deeper seeded issues. It doesn't make us freaks. It just makes us feel better."
Have you ever felt so aggressive, afraid, angry, belittled, betrayed,
bitter, cheated, confused, depressed, deceived, disappointed, foolish, empty,
insecure, hopeless, frustrated, lonely, lost, miserable, numb, pained,
picked-on, rejected, small, sorry, stupid, suffocated, tense, terrified, useless,
un-wanted, un-loved, un-important, worried, wrung-out, worn-out,
withdrawn, ticked, tortured, trapped, and blank that you've turned to
hurting yourself just to feel something different?
I'm not talking about telling yourself how horrible, stupid, or ugly you
are. I'm talking about cutting, burning, hitting, bruising, picking, digging,
biting, and scratching at your skin. I'm talking about hair pulling, head-
banging, bone-breaking; interfering with your healing would behavior.
Just because people self-injure, doesn't mean you'll know about it.
Many people who self-abuse hide it, or do it somewhere normally un-seen.
They also blame animals, plants, and accidents for their marks.
It is important to remember that self-harm isn't masochism. There is,
however, a fine line between the two.
Masochists hurt themselves to get off, for the pleasure, the rush, and
the high.
Self-mutilators hurt themselves to release whatever it is that is
bothering them at the time. They may also cause harm to themselves as a
punishment for something they did or said.
This paper is for the un-educated and the skeptical people when it
comes to self-injury. Hopefully, you learn something you don't already
know. Whether it be that you are not alone, or that people who do this are
not monstrosities. They just are in need or help, and have found self-injury
to be their coping mechanism and their release from the horrible emotions
from everyday life.
Self-Injury can enter someone's life in many ways. Normally, a person has one or both of depression and/or eating disorder. Three out of four people who suffer from eating disorders or depression fall into the addiction of self-injury.
Self-Injury has many names. Self-Mutilation, self-harm, S.I.B's, Self Injurious Behavior, self-abuse, S.I., and Para-suicidal behavior are among the most common names. Many people say they cut, or burn, or use another S.I. behavior for the name of this disorder.
For years I have interfered with the healing of cat scratches. I've done this purposely because I liked to see the blood, and I liked the relieving feelings I got from it. Recently, I've been biting the skin around my fingernails to the point of bleeding. These are two examples of self-abuse. I've pulled my hair; sometimes so hard it would come out. I do this as a punishment or out of stress. I also have bitten my hand so hard it marked and bled. I've scratched cuts into my skin, banged my head on things and gotten knots, and done so for relief or punishment. Never once did I know what I did and do was and is self-injuryÂ… A psychological disorder.
I started to cut myself for relief, and read about self-harm. That is when I found out that I'd actually self-mutilated for years. That's also when I realized a lot of people don't know much about it. Most importantly, I realized a lot of people have it and don't get help because they don't recognize it as a problem.
Sometimes people find it hard to categorize self-harm. Some simple ways to tell are as follows:
· Self-injury is a harmful act done to oneself by only oneself.
1. Tattoos, piercing, ritual mutilation, and drug use are not self-injury acts
· Self-harm must involve physical violence.
1. Emotional abuse isn't self-harm
· Self-harm in done with the intention of hurting oneself.
1. Accidentally harming yourself isn't self-harm
· Self-harm is done with absolutely NO intention of committing suicide.
1. Although suicide is intentional, it does not classify as self-harm
2. Suicide is sometimes accidental when self-harming, but it isn't intentional.
Self-injurers usually have some sort of ritual they have when self-harming. This can range from what type of environment they have, what their procedure is, and what type of self-harming instrument they use.
Environment
The environments that are most common are that of the person's own home. The bedroom and bathroom are the most popular places to commit the self-harm acts. Sometimes people add candles, close curtains, have certain times of the day they harm themselves, or a number of other things.
If a past abuse has occurred that had been very traumatic, the setting and time of the self-abusive act could be very similar to the time of when the abusive act from another occurred.
Instrument
Some people refuse to use more then one type of instrument to commit the act of self-harm. Sometimes people will only use razors or knives. Other items people may use range from lighters, hammers, pencils, pens, erasers, safety pins, nails, to clippers. It is all about personal preferences and feeling.
Rituals
Some rituals that people have are preparing their environment. Pre-Injury activities usually consist of this. This can be very calming and satisfying to the individual. Post-Injury activities include using certain disinfectants and ointments. Taking a bath, writing, and drawing are also used to help ease a person after their abuse is committed.
Thoughts before self-harm are those of wanting to hurt oneself; of needing to, of thinking it is the only way they will feel better. They also think that if they only do it a few more times that they will be okay.
During the self-abusive acts, thoughts that people have are those of hating their appearance, personality, and everything about them. They also degrade their intelligence level. People also think that life sucks, and they just wish someone would care about them.
Afterwards, many cannot believe what they have done, and they feel weak and pathetic for doing the abusive act. They also worry about people finding out and not understanding, so they hide it and decide not to tell anyone. They also feel much better, despite the guilt and shame they feel afterwards.
Many things that self-injurers feel, think, and put up with are feelings of embarrassment, shame, guilt, isolation, alienation, comments, vulnerability, loss of control, and many other things.
Shame can be produced by the scars they have and by other external forces, such as parents.
Embarrassment is caused by "unexplained" bald spots, scars, bruises, and other visible, yet temporary marks.
Comments people make, such as, WOW! HOW DID YOU GET THAT! THAT MUST HAVE HURT, are extremely painful to the self-injurer. These comments can produce many negative feelings for the person they are directed at.
Isolation and alienation make people feel crazy and very alone. Not many people give the support and positive attention self-injurers need to over-come the acts they commit.
Vulnerability or loss of control can occur due to Dissociative self-abusive acts. When people come out of a Dissociative episode, losing touch with reality, and find the self-harm mark, it is hard to cope with. This isn't common, but it does happen. People feel vulnerable also because the blood and harm to their flesh give them so many positive feelings. They also feel that they need it. Self-harm is very addicting. Whether a person sees it as an art, or as a release, the addiction is clear and very, very strong.
Now that you know a little about self-injury, let's try and classify the who's and what's of self-harm.
Who self-mutilates?
Usually women do the harmful act at home, in a therapist's office, or other places like that, while men do it while in prison. Both sexes do self-mutilate though.
The act usually is started in the teenage years and increases in the twenties. Most people's need to harm ends in their thirties, but this is not always the case.
Substance abusers, who commit the act of self-harm, usually do so while under the influence. They usually don't commit this act any other time. People with depression and eating disorders self-mutilate because of the similar psychological effects.
Individuals with a past of psychiatric treatment and/or psychological, sexual, or physical abuse are at risk for self-mutilating.
What are the types of Self-Mutilation?
Psychotic/ Major S.I. includes the removal of body parts such as eyes, arms, ears, and genitals. This usually occurs in response to a visual or audible hallucination. This, however, is very rare.
Organic/Stereotypical S.I. stems from Autism, developmental disorders, and other psychologically induced disorders. This is influenced by physical or chemical problems in the body. Examples of this are head-banging and lip-biting. This is the second most common form of self-mutilation. This is common in the Mentally Retarded population.
Typical/Superficial/Moderate S.I. is due to emotional or psychological reasons. This helps people cope with feelings. Examples of this are cutting and burning. These people inflict moderate pain or injury to themselves. This is the most common type of self-injury.
Some people may wonder about the fashion of self-harm. It is important to remember that tattoos, body piercing, and scarification is body modification.
People who self-harm for the art of it do things like pick their scabs, set the area on fire with rubbing alcohol, put ink in the wound, and put cigar ashes in it. Sometimes they just brand the art on themselves using heated metal.
Body art and self-injury are very distinctive. Here are the body art vs. S.I.'s
1. Making a statement vs. Making self feel better
2. Uniqueness vs. Coping
3. Set apart from mainstream vs. Shame
4. Proudly show Vs. Secret
5. Conscious choice vs. Unable to control urge
Self-Injury is a very complex disorder. It releases beta-endorphins that stop pain, make you feel good, and release all those bad nasty feelings. It is also very addictive and symbolic.
Some people do it because it is the only thing that they can control. Some do it because they need to feel and it makes them feel alive. For them, the physical pain is better then the emotional pain.
Picking out someone who self-injures doesn't have to be hard. They are commonly middle to upper-class Caucasian female who is intelligent, well educated, and in the thirteen to thirty-five age groups.
Other factors are physical, emotional, and sexual abuse as a child, parental drug use or alcoholism, parental neglect or abandonment, parental loss from death or divorce, or tense or abusive parental relations.
People also have constant aims for perfection, strong or moderate dislike of body, frequent mood swings, feelings of anger, rejection, failure, loss, helplessness, or abandonment. They also show an inability to cope with strong emotions and inability to release or express emotions to others.
Self-injurers have difficulty expressing and healing emotions. They can't explain their injuries and wear long pants and shirts constantly. They also isolate themselves.
Since self-harm can accidentally cause death or destroy relationships, try and help self-injurers out, Here are some ways you can do that.
1. Attitude, be accepting and open. Don't be judgmental. Make them feel safe and secure in talking
2. Please recognize the severity of their problem. They really are unable to control their urges.
3. Don't get angry! Acknowledge that they are under stress and offer help.
4. If you or they believe they will really hurt or kill themselves, stay with them until the urge is gone. Encourage them not to be alone during these episodes.
5. Encourage them to talk with an adult.
6. This will be very difficult, stressful, and frustrating for you. Be willing to take on the responsibility.
7. Don't threaten them. It is hard enough to quit without worrying of doing the act and reaping the repercussions.
Remember that we are people too. We just some have deeper seeded issues. It doesn't make us freaks. It just makes us feel better."
Testataas uudestaan.. Nyt kun on muuttunut sekä minä että maailma...Sunnuntai 31.05.2009 06:47
►MIKSI:
Miksi olit viimeksi surullinen? - ... En muista.
Miksi teet tätä testiä? - Kosa haluan testata mitä eroa aikasempaan.
Miksi et ole ulkona? - koska en pidä ulkona olemiseesta kuin harvoin.
►MILLOIN:
Milloin viimeksi nauroit? - Äsken
Milloin olit viimeksi autossa? - Joskus eilen illalla viimeks dösässä.
Milloin olet viimeksi syönyt leipää? - joskus 00 aikaan
Milloin olet viimeksi opiskellut? - viimeks opiskelin ihna kunnolla kun olin Kuudennella luokalla...
Milloin olet viimeksi pelännyt pimeää? - Joskus ihan pienenä.
►ONKO:
Onko sinulla mp3? - Ipod juu
Onko sinulla joku sydämessäsi, ketä et voi saada pois sieltä milloinkaan (ei perheenjäsenet)? Täl hetkellä itseasiassa ei.
Onko sinulla juuri nyt musiikkia soimassa? - Aina
Onko sinulla salaisuuksia jotka voisivat kauhistuttaa muita ihmisiä? - Muutama luuranko kaapissa..
►OLISIKO:
Olisiko elämä helpompaa, jos maapallo olisi litteä? - Mitä väliä sillä ois?
Olisiko elämä helpompaa/parempaa ilman rakkautta? - Itseasiassa olis
Olisiko se katastrofi, jos toimisit lastenhoitajana päivän? - Been there, done that.
Olisiko maailma parempi ilman sotia? - Itseasiasssa luulisin että ei. Niille jotka on sotien uhreja (siviilit jne.) mut maille ja sen kansalaisille yleensä niin en usko.
►SINÄ:
Monta kirjainta on nimessäsi? - 7
Onko sinulla mitään sairautta? - on, moniakin, joille ei ole tähän mennessä löydetty mitään selitystä
Kuinka pitkä olet? - 165-172
Onko sinulla hyvä/huono/siltä väliltä itsetunto? - Mikä itsetunto? Tunnen itseni, hyväksyn sen mukisematta. Piste.
►ULKONÄKÖ:
Kuvaile hiuksiasi? - Tumman harmaat, eripituset joka kohasta.
Silmiesi väri? - Sinisen/vihreen/harmaa
Pukeudutko jonkun tietyn tyylin mukaan? - Oman tyylin mukaan
Käytätkö korkokenkiä? - Välillä
Käytätkö talvella pipoa? - ööh.. en
►YSTÄVÄT:
Onko sinulla paljon ystäviä/kavereita? - Ei, enkä tarttekkaan niitä sen enempää kun niitä on.
Onko joku ystävistäsi pettänyt sinut joskus? - Onhan ne
Monta HYVÄÄ YSTÄVÄÄ sinulla on? - 2
Riiteletkö usein kavereidesi kanssa? - En
►VIIMEISIMMÄT:
Viimeisin pitkä automatka? - en muista
Viimeisin nähty elokuva? - Eilinen Batman ja Robin..
Viimeisin syöty ruoka? - Leipää
Viimeisin soitettu CD? - Hah. Älä naurata.
Viimeisin juotu juoma? - Tee
Viimeisin vierailtu nettisivu? - Hotmail.com
►SEKALAISIA:
Oletko ihastunut? - en
Kärsitkö matkapahoinvoinnista? - En
Oletko terveysintoilija? - En
Tuletko toimeen vanhempiesi kanssa? - Kyllä
Pidätkö ukkosmyrskyistä? - kyllä
Syntymäpaikka? - helsinki
►LEMPI-
Numero: 13
Väri: valkoinen/musta
Päivä: keskiviikko
Kuukausi: lokakuu
Vuodenaika: kevät
Juoma: Battery/kossubattery
►VIIMEISEN VUOROKAUDEN AIKANA , OLETKO...
Itkenyt?: En
Auttanut jotakuta?: en
Ostanut jotain?: Joo
Ollut sairas?: En
Käynyt elokuvissa?: En
Kirjoittanut oikean kirjeen?: En
Puhunut vakavia?: Juu
Ikävöinyt jotakuta?: en
Halannut jotakuta?: Joo
P E R H E
1. Onko sulla pikkusiskoa? - Ei ole
2. Mikä on veljesi nimi? - Lexa
3. Koska riitelit viimeksi äitisi kanssa? - En muista
4. Kenelle perheenjäsenelle puhuit viimeksi? - äiti
K O T I
1. Minkä väriset ovat huoneesi verhot? - En omista huonetta saati sitten mitään verhoja
2. Kuinka monta julistetta seinälläsi on? - ei ainuttakaan
3. Onko teillä parveke? - khyl
4. Minkä väriset on siskosi/veljesi tapetit?- ehem
5. Minkä värinen matto teillä on keittiössä? - sini valkonen
Y S T Ä V Ä T
1. Onko sinulla parasta kaveria? - Pari
2. Onko sinulla paljon ystäviä muualla päin Suomea kuin kotipaikkakunnallasi? - On
3. Onko sinulla ketään ulkomaalaista kaveria? - On
4. Käytkö kirjeenvaihtoa? - kyllä
5. Oletko koskaan lyönyt ystävääsi? - Olen
U L K O N Ä K Ö
1. Minkä väriset silmät haluisit että sinulla olisi? - Hopeet tai kirkaan smaragdin vihreet.
2. Haluaisitko mieluummin olla 165 cm vai 175 cm pitkä? - 175
3. Oletko oikeasti brunette vai blondi? - Blondi
4. Pidätkö enemmän soikeasta vai pyöreästä pään muodosta? - en mä nyt pallopäistä tykkää.. uh
V A A T T E E T
1. Omistatko henkselit? - Joo
2. Entä poolopaidan? - Joo
3. Onko vaatekaappisi sekaisin? - Aina
4. Pidätkö varvassukista? - En
5. Löytyykö sinulta pinkkejä vaatteita? - ei enää
K E N G Ä T
1. Omistatko AllStarsin kengät? - en
2. Omistatko takkia? - Juu
3. Millaiset talvikengät sinulla oli viime talvena? - maiharit
4. Kuinka monet kengät omistat? - Monet
N Y T
1. Onko isäsi nyt kotona? - ei
2. Onko sinulla panta nyt päässäsi? - Ei
3. Kuunteletko nyt musiikkia? - khyl
4. Paistaako ulkona nyt aurinko? -Yrittää joo..
5. Onko sinulla hiukset auki nyt? - Joo
V I I M E I S I N H E N K I L Ö
5. Joka makasi sängyssäsi? - Minä
6. Joka sai sinut itkemään? - ei kukaan
7.Jonka kanssa olit elokuvissa? - Tiia
8. Jonka kanssa menit shoppailemaan? - Sanna
9. Kenen kanssa olit suihkussa? - Yksin
10. Joka sai sinut nauramaan? - Sanna
11. Joka sanoi sinulle rakastan sinua? - Late
12. Joka laittoi sinulle viestiä keskellä yötä? -Late
Y L E I S T Ä
13. Lempipaikka? - Olkkari
14. Tatuointeja? - kyllä
15. Mitä pelkäät eniten tällä hetkellä? - Elämää/Elämistä
16. Missä haluat mennä naimisiin? - En missään.
17. Kehen olet ihastunut/rakastunut? - ...
18. Pitääkö kukaan sinusta? - Kullä
19. Kohteletko kavereitasi kuin kukkasia? - en
20. Onko sinusta kanneltu opettajalle? - ei
21. Laulu joka soi päässäsi tällä hetkellä? - Ei mikään
22. Pidätkö ihmisistä? - en
23. Oletko ikinä pitänyt henkilöstä joka on kohdellut sinua huonosti? - en
24. Mikä laulu muistuttaa sinua ihastuksestasi? - Strata - Night Falls (the Weight of it)
25. Mitä sinulla on päälläsi tällä hetkellä? - Farkut, t-paita, college takki
26. Onko kukaan ''vittuillut'' sinulle? - toki
27. Paljonko sinulla on rahaa tällä hetkellä? - 40e
28. Onko sinulla sukat jalassa? - Ei
29. Onko sinulla kasveja huoneessasi? - on
30. Sattuuko sinua johonkin nyt? - kyllä
Miksi olit viimeksi surullinen? - ... En muista.
Miksi teet tätä testiä? - Kosa haluan testata mitä eroa aikasempaan.
Miksi et ole ulkona? - koska en pidä ulkona olemiseesta kuin harvoin.
►MILLOIN:
Milloin viimeksi nauroit? - Äsken
Milloin olit viimeksi autossa? - Joskus eilen illalla viimeks dösässä.
Milloin olet viimeksi syönyt leipää? - joskus 00 aikaan
Milloin olet viimeksi opiskellut? - viimeks opiskelin ihna kunnolla kun olin Kuudennella luokalla...
Milloin olet viimeksi pelännyt pimeää? - Joskus ihan pienenä.
►ONKO:
Onko sinulla mp3? - Ipod juu
Onko sinulla joku sydämessäsi, ketä et voi saada pois sieltä milloinkaan (ei perheenjäsenet)? Täl hetkellä itseasiassa ei.
Onko sinulla juuri nyt musiikkia soimassa? - Aina
Onko sinulla salaisuuksia jotka voisivat kauhistuttaa muita ihmisiä? - Muutama luuranko kaapissa..
►OLISIKO:
Olisiko elämä helpompaa, jos maapallo olisi litteä? - Mitä väliä sillä ois?
Olisiko elämä helpompaa/parempaa ilman rakkautta? - Itseasiassa olis
Olisiko se katastrofi, jos toimisit lastenhoitajana päivän? - Been there, done that.
Olisiko maailma parempi ilman sotia? - Itseasiasssa luulisin että ei. Niille jotka on sotien uhreja (siviilit jne.) mut maille ja sen kansalaisille yleensä niin en usko.
►SINÄ:
Monta kirjainta on nimessäsi? - 7
Onko sinulla mitään sairautta? - on, moniakin, joille ei ole tähän mennessä löydetty mitään selitystä
Kuinka pitkä olet? - 165-172
Onko sinulla hyvä/huono/siltä väliltä itsetunto? - Mikä itsetunto? Tunnen itseni, hyväksyn sen mukisematta. Piste.
►ULKONÄKÖ:
Kuvaile hiuksiasi? - Tumman harmaat, eripituset joka kohasta.
Silmiesi väri? - Sinisen/vihreen/harmaa
Pukeudutko jonkun tietyn tyylin mukaan? - Oman tyylin mukaan
Käytätkö korkokenkiä? - Välillä
Käytätkö talvella pipoa? - ööh.. en
►YSTÄVÄT:
Onko sinulla paljon ystäviä/kavereita? - Ei, enkä tarttekkaan niitä sen enempää kun niitä on.
Onko joku ystävistäsi pettänyt sinut joskus? - Onhan ne
Monta HYVÄÄ YSTÄVÄÄ sinulla on? - 2
Riiteletkö usein kavereidesi kanssa? - En
►VIIMEISIMMÄT:
Viimeisin pitkä automatka? - en muista
Viimeisin nähty elokuva? - Eilinen Batman ja Robin..
Viimeisin syöty ruoka? - Leipää
Viimeisin soitettu CD? - Hah. Älä naurata.
Viimeisin juotu juoma? - Tee
Viimeisin vierailtu nettisivu? - Hotmail.com
►SEKALAISIA:
Oletko ihastunut? - en
Kärsitkö matkapahoinvoinnista? - En
Oletko terveysintoilija? - En
Tuletko toimeen vanhempiesi kanssa? - Kyllä
Pidätkö ukkosmyrskyistä? - kyllä
Syntymäpaikka? - helsinki
►LEMPI-
Numero: 13
Väri: valkoinen/musta
Päivä: keskiviikko
Kuukausi: lokakuu
Vuodenaika: kevät
Juoma: Battery/kossubattery
►VIIMEISEN VUOROKAUDEN AIKANA , OLETKO...
Itkenyt?: En
Auttanut jotakuta?: en
Ostanut jotain?: Joo
Ollut sairas?: En
Käynyt elokuvissa?: En
Kirjoittanut oikean kirjeen?: En
Puhunut vakavia?: Juu
Ikävöinyt jotakuta?: en
Halannut jotakuta?: Joo
P E R H E
1. Onko sulla pikkusiskoa? - Ei ole
2. Mikä on veljesi nimi? - Lexa
3. Koska riitelit viimeksi äitisi kanssa? - En muista
4. Kenelle perheenjäsenelle puhuit viimeksi? - äiti
K O T I
1. Minkä väriset ovat huoneesi verhot? - En omista huonetta saati sitten mitään verhoja
2. Kuinka monta julistetta seinälläsi on? - ei ainuttakaan
3. Onko teillä parveke? - khyl
4. Minkä väriset on siskosi/veljesi tapetit?- ehem
5. Minkä värinen matto teillä on keittiössä? - sini valkonen
Y S T Ä V Ä T
1. Onko sinulla parasta kaveria? - Pari
2. Onko sinulla paljon ystäviä muualla päin Suomea kuin kotipaikkakunnallasi? - On
3. Onko sinulla ketään ulkomaalaista kaveria? - On
4. Käytkö kirjeenvaihtoa? - kyllä
5. Oletko koskaan lyönyt ystävääsi? - Olen
U L K O N Ä K Ö
1. Minkä väriset silmät haluisit että sinulla olisi? - Hopeet tai kirkaan smaragdin vihreet.
2. Haluaisitko mieluummin olla 165 cm vai 175 cm pitkä? - 175
3. Oletko oikeasti brunette vai blondi? - Blondi
4. Pidätkö enemmän soikeasta vai pyöreästä pään muodosta? - en mä nyt pallopäistä tykkää.. uh
V A A T T E E T
1. Omistatko henkselit? - Joo
2. Entä poolopaidan? - Joo
3. Onko vaatekaappisi sekaisin? - Aina
4. Pidätkö varvassukista? - En
5. Löytyykö sinulta pinkkejä vaatteita? - ei enää
K E N G Ä T
1. Omistatko AllStarsin kengät? - en
2. Omistatko takkia? - Juu
3. Millaiset talvikengät sinulla oli viime talvena? - maiharit
4. Kuinka monet kengät omistat? - Monet
N Y T
1. Onko isäsi nyt kotona? - ei
2. Onko sinulla panta nyt päässäsi? - Ei
3. Kuunteletko nyt musiikkia? - khyl
4. Paistaako ulkona nyt aurinko? -Yrittää joo..
5. Onko sinulla hiukset auki nyt? - Joo
V I I M E I S I N H E N K I L Ö
5. Joka makasi sängyssäsi? - Minä
6. Joka sai sinut itkemään? - ei kukaan
7.Jonka kanssa olit elokuvissa? - Tiia
8. Jonka kanssa menit shoppailemaan? - Sanna
9. Kenen kanssa olit suihkussa? - Yksin
10. Joka sai sinut nauramaan? - Sanna
11. Joka sanoi sinulle rakastan sinua? - Late
12. Joka laittoi sinulle viestiä keskellä yötä? -Late
Y L E I S T Ä
13. Lempipaikka? - Olkkari
14. Tatuointeja? - kyllä
15. Mitä pelkäät eniten tällä hetkellä? - Elämää/Elämistä
16. Missä haluat mennä naimisiin? - En missään.
17. Kehen olet ihastunut/rakastunut? - ...
18. Pitääkö kukaan sinusta? - Kullä
19. Kohteletko kavereitasi kuin kukkasia? - en
20. Onko sinusta kanneltu opettajalle? - ei
21. Laulu joka soi päässäsi tällä hetkellä? - Ei mikään
22. Pidätkö ihmisistä? - en
23. Oletko ikinä pitänyt henkilöstä joka on kohdellut sinua huonosti? - en
24. Mikä laulu muistuttaa sinua ihastuksestasi? - Strata - Night Falls (the Weight of it)
25. Mitä sinulla on päälläsi tällä hetkellä? - Farkut, t-paita, college takki
26. Onko kukaan ''vittuillut'' sinulle? - toki
27. Paljonko sinulla on rahaa tällä hetkellä? - 40e
28. Onko sinulla sukat jalassa? - Ei
29. Onko sinulla kasveja huoneessasi? - on
30. Sattuuko sinua johonkin nyt? - kyllä
EnglishSunnuntai 31.05.2009 00:59
I am learning it.. Again. Thought differently than before. I am learning how to play with words. How to deceive the mind of others. How to play with insanity, so that you can bring it to people. How to keep people interested. How to play.
It is difficult but I´ll manage .)
It is difficult but I´ll manage .)
pöllin rikukolta..Perjantai 29.05.2009 01:28
2. Valitse sieltä neljäs kuva
3. Selitä kuva
4. Haasta neljä ihmistä tekemään sama
Orochimaruhan se siinä, photoshopattuna tosin, mutta aivan vitun kaunis kuva :)
Vihaan teitä ihmiset!Sunnuntai 24.05.2009 04:41
Hienoa, että sain responsea tähänkin! HA! Noin paljon se vaati! Kiitos teille ihmiset.. En vihaa teitä.. Koskaan vihannutkaan :D Lähinnä katoin että ku pistän asiat yhteen mistä mun pitäisi! teitä vihata ylös suoraan julkisesti niin sanotteko asialle mitään.. Sanoitte.. Hyvä ihmiset hyvä! :)
Vihdoin ja viimein Elisa.. Vihdoin ja viimein.. Finally!!! Sain tuloksia.. Jo se kesti :PPP
Ja kiitti Terhi :)
Vihdoin ja viimein Elisa.. Vihdoin ja viimein.. Finally!!! Sain tuloksia.. Jo se kesti :PPP
Ja kiitti Terhi :)
Se suckaa....Perjantai 22.05.2009 05:31
kyllä, se on perseestä enkä ole tyytyväinen siihen. Vihaan sitä ja omaa epäpätevyyttäni harjoittaessani kyseistä asiaa. Se ottaa aivoon että kritiikkiä en saa vaikka mikä ois ja tämän vuoksi työn jälki on paskaa. Joudun netistä etsimään random neuvoja jotka ei välttämättä toimi mulle aj eikä ole yksilöllisiä ja näin ollen ovat hankalia, koska ovat niin suoraviivaisia.
Okei sit toinen juttu mikä ottaa aivoon.. Teen noita vaalikoneen testejä eri nettisivuilla. Vastailen kysymyksiin ja mitä saan tulokseksi? Kommari puolueita ja natseja.. Ja kummastakaan kauempana en vois olla. Oon porvari! En tajua miten oon päätyny tommosiin. En tajua edes et miten joku Turkin liittyminen EU:hun on mikään kysymys? Joko se liittyy tai sit ei. Miten se liittyy meidän elämään muuten kuin että päästään matkustamaan sinne helpommin ja et niiden rahayksikkö vaihtuu Euroon? Turhaa paskaa.. Tai joku et pitäiskö EU:lla olla oma urheilujoukkue? Se nyt liittyy viel vähemmän. Kysymykset NATO:sta ja Venäjän ja Suomen väleistä, Kioton sopimuksesta ja Irlannin kansanäänestyksestä viel ymmärrän et ne on tärkeitä kysymyksiä mut URHEILUJOUKKUE?!?!? Miten se liittyy mihinkään?!
Okei sit toinen juttu mikä ottaa aivoon.. Teen noita vaalikoneen testejä eri nettisivuilla. Vastailen kysymyksiin ja mitä saan tulokseksi? Kommari puolueita ja natseja.. Ja kummastakaan kauempana en vois olla. Oon porvari! En tajua miten oon päätyny tommosiin. En tajua edes et miten joku Turkin liittyminen EU:hun on mikään kysymys? Joko se liittyy tai sit ei. Miten se liittyy meidän elämään muuten kuin että päästään matkustamaan sinne helpommin ja et niiden rahayksikkö vaihtuu Euroon? Turhaa paskaa.. Tai joku et pitäiskö EU:lla olla oma urheilujoukkue? Se nyt liittyy viel vähemmän. Kysymykset NATO:sta ja Venäjän ja Suomen väleistä, Kioton sopimuksesta ja Irlannin kansanäänestyksestä viel ymmärrän et ne on tärkeitä kysymyksiä mut URHEILUJOUKKUE?!?!? Miten se liittyy mihinkään?!
[Ei aihetta]Lauantai 16.05.2009 04:47
More or less
There is no rest
Dreaming of nothing
Dusting the shelve
Of my memories
And leaving everything
That was and is
but in the end
it is like it was
and everything will end
until we start again
There is no rest
Dreaming of nothing
Dusting the shelve
Of my memories
And leaving everything
That was and is
but in the end
it is like it was
and everything will end
until we start again
[Ei aihetta]Torstai 14.05.2009 23:05
"Simply a playground for the various voices in my head, it's a space with no clear or discernible goals. It's where my Id, Ego, and Anima all come together to exchange cookie recipes."
...Tiistai 12.05.2009 22:32
N: Who are you?
I: IÂ’m a monster.
N: No you’re not. I ‘m a monster, and you are not me.
I: Then if thatÂ’s not what I am, who do you think I am?
N: YouÂ’re dead.
I: Is that a threat?
N: Â….No, itÂ’s a fact.
I: Â…Â…Â…... What makes you think this?
N: I can see it in your eyes
I: YouÂ’re not afraid to look into my eyes?
N: No.
I: I could kill you.
N: No, you canÂ’t. Illusions are only something that can fool the mind, I am apart from my mind, for I am mindless. Is that not what a monster is? You can capture me into your world of lies, but we both know you canÂ’t kill something that never lived.
I: So then we are both dead, lifeless shells that pretend to be. Is that what you think?
N: Yes.
I: If minds are simply things of humans, as you say, then what of you soul?
N: We are dead, our souls float looking for direction, something worth living for. Something worth dieing for.
I: So we are nothing, do you know what will redeem us?
N: No.
I: I know.
N: What?
I: Love. Love is worth living for, worth dieing for. Our souls cry out for love, and with love peace and laughter will surely come, for that is what ones soul thrives on; the wanting to love and be loved.
N: How can one who promotes hate speak of love? Are you that unhappy that you need to bring others down with you?!
I: Sasuke lives for death, so I will grant it to him in hope that he will be redeemed, like us. So I will continue to make him hate until he is overwhelmed, for he will not live until his old self dies.
N: So you knew this all along, you already knew what we were.
I: Yes.
N: So who can I love who will love me back.
I: I will love you back.
N: But I am a mindless, monster. I am dead.
I: So am I.
I: IÂ’m a monster.
N: No you’re not. I ‘m a monster, and you are not me.
I: Then if thatÂ’s not what I am, who do you think I am?
N: YouÂ’re dead.
I: Is that a threat?
N: Â….No, itÂ’s a fact.
I: Â…Â…Â…... What makes you think this?
N: I can see it in your eyes
I: YouÂ’re not afraid to look into my eyes?
N: No.
I: I could kill you.
N: No, you canÂ’t. Illusions are only something that can fool the mind, I am apart from my mind, for I am mindless. Is that not what a monster is? You can capture me into your world of lies, but we both know you canÂ’t kill something that never lived.
I: So then we are both dead, lifeless shells that pretend to be. Is that what you think?
N: Yes.
I: If minds are simply things of humans, as you say, then what of you soul?
N: We are dead, our souls float looking for direction, something worth living for. Something worth dieing for.
I: So we are nothing, do you know what will redeem us?
N: No.
I: I know.
N: What?
I: Love. Love is worth living for, worth dieing for. Our souls cry out for love, and with love peace and laughter will surely come, for that is what ones soul thrives on; the wanting to love and be loved.
N: How can one who promotes hate speak of love? Are you that unhappy that you need to bring others down with you?!
I: Sasuke lives for death, so I will grant it to him in hope that he will be redeemed, like us. So I will continue to make him hate until he is overwhelmed, for he will not live until his old self dies.
N: So you knew this all along, you already knew what we were.
I: Yes.
N: So who can I love who will love me back.
I: I will love you back.
N: But I am a mindless, monster. I am dead.
I: So am I.