"Wow, Scott really hates us, Phillip."
"Yes. Perhaps he's homophobic!"
"...but we are not gay, Phillip..."
"We're not?!"
"The subway surely is wonderful, Terrance!"
"It sure is! Let's look for treasure!"
"Yes, let's look for treasure!!"
"Hello Ugly-Bob!"
"Hello Terrance, hello Phillip."
"My God, you're looking hideously ugly today, Ugly-Bob."
"How come you guys say stuff like that?"
"Because you're God damn ugly, Bob."
"I know, but---"
"Ugly-Bob, your face looks like somebody tried to put out a forest fire out with a screwdriver."
"I can't help how I look. Besides, it's not what's on the outside that matters, it's what's on the inside."
"No, it isn't."
"Oh, Terraaaance! You got a letteeer!"
"Shiver me timbers, Phillip! At this rate I'll never get to my croft dinner! ...OH MY GOD!"
"What is it, Terrance? Did you fart?"
"No, it's Sally, she's been held captive in Iran!"
"Not Sally! Dear God no, Terrance, why Sally?! God, why?! Say, Terrance, who's Sally?"
"My daughter."
"I... never knew you had a daughter, Terrance."
"Oh, yes, didn't I mention that, me harties?"
"No, you never did, Terrance..."
"That fart sounded like a ringing phone, Terrance!"
"It sure did, Phillip!"
*briiing*
"Oh, wait, it is the phone! ..Hello?"
"Terrance, it's Scott."
"Hi Scott."
"Tell him he's a smelly bastard!"
"Phillip says 'hello', Scott."