IRC-Galleria

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "Damn we fucked up, but that shit was fun!"

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days, then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget it's yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don't waste."

FAKE FRIENDS: Know your first and last name and where you live.
REAL FRIENDS: Have at least half a dozen nicknames for you, of which many are related to doing something stupid.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk shit about the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out.

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for a while.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.