u fucked with the wrong mexican
* Danny Trejo as Machete, "a legendary ex-Federale with a deadly attitude and the skills to match."
* Steven Seagal as Torrez, a druglord.
* Michelle Rodriguez as Shé, "a sexy taco-truck lady with a rebellious spirit and revolutionary heart."
* Jeff Fahey as Booth, "a ruthless businessman with an endless payroll of killers."
* Cheech Marin as Padre, "a priest who's good with blessings, but better with guns."
* Lindsay Lohan as The Sister, "nun with a gun."
* Don Johnson as Von, "a twisted border vigilante leading a small army."
* Jessica Alba as Sartana, "a beautiful Immigrations Officer torn between enforcing the law and doing what is right."
* Robert De Niro as The Senator
* Rose McGowan as Ginger, hired by Benz
* Electra and Elise Avellan as The Sexy Nurses at the hospital where Machete is treated.
* Cheryl Chin as Torrez's Henchwoman
* Tom Savini as Unknown character. He was seen in the first official trailer as a man with a machine gun who Machete stalked.
* Daryl Sabara as Julio
* Carlos Gallardo as Deputy Carlos
* Alicia Rachel Marek as June Benz, socialite wife of Benz and April's mother.
* Tim Roth as Agent Orange, the title character of Quentin Tarantino's rumored fake trailer.
* Rick Yune as Li Chan, Agent Orange's South Vietnamese Sidekick.
* Sacha Baron Cohen as Colonel Weathers, in the Agent Orange trailer.
* Stacy Keach as Doc Franklin, the rumored antagonist of the fake trailer.