1. When you are born, you drop out of the sky and are completely invincible for a short time.
2. It is perfectly safe to eat food that is lying on the ground.
3. All women wear revealing clothes and have great bodies.
4. If someone other than you dies, they disappear.
5. Whenever huge evil men, aliens, or monsters are about to die, they begin flashing red or yellow.
6. No matter how long you fight, you can always fight again.
7. Death is reversible (but only for you!).
8. There is no problem that cannot be solved by violence.
9. Shoot everything. If it blows up or dies, it was probably evil.
10. A thousand-to-one odds against you is NOT a problem.
11. Money is frequently found lying on the streets.
12. Piloting any vehicle is simple and requires no training. This also applies to weaponry.
13. When racing vehicles, do not worry if your vehicle crashes and explodes. A new vehicle will appear in its place.
14. Ninjas are common, and often fight in public.
15. Enemies usually leave weapons or items lying around for no other reason than to aid you in killing them.
16. Gang members often look alike, and have the same names.
17. Every settlement in the world, no matter how small, has an inn, a blacksmith, and a magic shop.
18. A cardboard box is excellent camouflage.
19. No matter how weak you are, you'll be a walking armory by journey's end.
20. Weapons tend to hover a few inches above the ground, and rotate slowly.
21. Italians are celebrities.
22. Monsters are everywhere, and get progressively stronger the farther you are from home.
23. Vast armies are entirely ineffective compared to small, elite squadrons.
24. The earthworm is the most vicious, most dangerous creature on Earth.
25. You can stop time just by answering a cell phone.
26. You always know EXACTLY when Doomsday is coming.
27. If you point a gun at a friend, their name and health status will magically appear over their head.
28. Treasure chests are seldom locked and frequently appear out of nowhere.
29. Sports cars can be driven at top speed into walls and be completely undamaged.
30. If you don't like the weapon you are carrying or are low on ammo, suicide is a viable option.
31. Moral ambiguity does not exist.
32. Maps are omniscient, and know the exact positions of both you and your opponents.
33. No one cares if you ransack their house.
34. You can pass for anyone, if you just have their clothes.
35. You can pick up anything just by stepping on it.
36. All guards have Alzheimer’s. No matter what they see or hear, they'll forget it within two minutes.
37. Doors are indestructible, and often have colored keys.
38. You can often identify the hero by their weird hairdo. It will usually be of a color and/or structure that does not exist anywhere else in nature.
39. Villagers and townspeople do not need to eat, sleep, or perform other bodily functions. They will either wander in circles or sit and stare FOREVER.
40. The world is always smaller than it looks.
41. All car races are closed circuits, with no way in or out.
42. Hedgehogs are blue and run really, REALLY fast.
43. World War II was the central event in the history of mankind.
44. You can't die as long as you have a ring.
45. Martial arts can teach you to defy the laws of physics.
46. Parents often encourage their children to go on dangerous journeys through uncharted wilderness with little chance of survival.
47. Catching and training animals to fight for you is perfectly acceptable.
48. Most people never have more than two or three things to say at any given time.
49. You can become independently wealthy just by cutting the grass outside your home.
50. Immersion in water is sometimes inexplicably fatal.
51. If you take your trusty childhood friend with you when you go on an epic quest, they'll ether die or turn evil.
52. Jumping is the best way to get anywhere and is not at all tiring.
53. It's *NEVER* the Final Fantasy.
54. Just walking around town is an invitation to get attacked discriminately by thugs, no matter how wealthy the other townsfolk are.
55. The world is a surprisingly durable place. Except for windows, crates, barrels, and boxes, everything is indestructible.
56. There is always something behind a waterfall.
57. An evil overlord will always look down on you, even if you annihilated his entire army single-handedly to get to him.
58. Turtle shells are often more effective than nukes.
59. There are clones everywhere, and classified by profession.
60. A woman can fight as well as a man, but only if she's wearing a thong.
61. Minorities are usually hoodlums or criminals. The good guys are almost ALWAYS white.
62. Doctors are largely unecessary. You can heal the most mortal wound instantly just by touching a first-aid kit.
63. Always light torches. They're never there for show.
64. Red and Blue will always be at war.
65. The more effeminate a man, the more dangerous he is.
66. There is always a princess to be rescued.
67. Even low life forms like rabbits, mice, and slugs carry money.
68. Shopkeepers who have never heard of you often cater to your specific needs.
69. Enemies follow predictable patterns and have obvious weak spots.
70. The easiest way to kill something is to jump on its head.
71. No matter how advanced your technology is, you can never be teleported beyond the outer fringes of an enemy base.
72. Anthropomorphic animals are armed to the teeth and often have wise-cracking sidekicks.
73. Monsters capable of leveling mountains cannot get past a city wall.
74. People often ask complete strangers to do chores or run errands for them.
75. You can always go forward, but you can never go back.
76. If you are adopted, poor, and/or living in a backwoods town of humble antiquity, rest easy. Odds are, you're the sole heir to a kingdom/legendary hero.
77. Everyone is either young and attractive or old and wise.
78. Gates to hell in one's backyard are no cause for alarm.
79. Anyone that you're supposed to protect will go out of their way to get themselves killed.
80. The doors of dungeons, mansions, or towers often lock with word games or picture puzzles.
81. It's not paranoia if they're really out to get you. They are.
82. Plumbing is a very lucrative career.
83. A single blow to the head is more effective than thirty bullets to the chest.
84. The good guys always win, even if *you* don't.
85. Despite this, being evil is more fun than being good.
86. Partners never make things easier. In fact, you often end up having to save them.
87. Evil people are intelligent, and often have British accents.
88. Bullet holes, scorch marks, and even craters magically repair themselves over time.
89. Fights are often orderly, and in turn.
90. Becoming skilled in anything is a simple matter of beating up scores of thugs.
91. If it was associated with movies, it was crap.
92. A crack is the universal sign for "destructible."
93. Bottomless pits are very common.
94. If you fight an evil overlord in a place that is NOT his fortress of doom, your attacks will be ineffective.
95. Bathrooms are rare to the point of nonexistence.
96. Ramming other cars off the freeway is perfectly legal, but tapping a police car is an arrestable offence.
97. Pottery is abundant, and frequently regenerates if broken.
98. Falling blocks are strangely hypnotic.
99. Newspaper delivery is the world's most hazardous job.
100. "Game Over" is not the end.
and neither is this list...
101. You can do anything with enough points.
102. Cheaters ALWAYS prosper.
103. Nazis were the greatest threat the world has ever faced.
104. Sim City is a real place.
105. Asteroids can be blown up in point-and-click fashion.
106. Once you have beaten the ultimate evil, he will always have just enough strength to kill your true love or childhood friend.
107. Evolution happens in seconds.
108. Animals tend to look like what their name suggests.
109. When forming a new nation, yours will be the most powerful in the world. Despite this, you are somehow the underdog.
110. A worldwide apocolypse would happen roughly once a week if it wasnt for random people constantly beating 1,000,000 - 1 odds all the time.
111. It is very rare for a kidnapper to murder, beat up, rape, or ask ransom money for their victims.
112. You don't have to say one word to accept a very time consuming task.
113. If you hide in a shadow you are invisible to enemies, even if you can see yourself.
114. Inexplicably, your vision often starts a few metres BEHIND you.
115. All the talents you need to save the world lay dormant in you until you need them.
116. Even if an item is required to halt worldwide armageddon, people will still want you to either do a challenge or a favour before they give it to you.
117. There have been several outbreaks of zombies.
118. While en route on your epic quest, your journey will always take you past a mine, where someone who doesn't like you waits patiently at the end of it.
119. No matter how little time you have to save the world, there is always time to stay the night at an inn.
120. Horses are easily replaced by giant, mutant chickens.
121. It only takes 15 seconds of rest to fully recover from a full day of fighting and traveling.
122. Despite the fact that a gnome wields a weapon 3 times his size (replace race when necessary) he will be able to swing it for hours on end without tire or fatigue.
123. It's always better to drive faster. If you go 90 mph, you'll look like you're going 60.
