new moon (
http://shinga.livejournal.com/579477.html) on kans iha hyvä ton yksinkertaistamana :')
--
BELLA: Kri IÂ’m scared of you.
JACOB: Bitch, what the fuck. Seriously. Is it because IÂ’m the non-sparkly variety of monster, suddenly you hate me?
BELLA: Well yeah.
EDWARDÂ’S VOICE: DonÂ’t be a moron.
BELLA: I mean uh... no. No, thatÂ’s not it, IÂ’m fine with you being a furry, itÂ’s just that I donÂ’t like you killing people.
JACOB: Oh, seriously? Cool. LETÂ’S HUG!
BELLA: OWFUCK.
JACOB: Sorry I called you a glitterfucking bitchwhore.
BELLA: ... Uh, you didnÂ’t.
JACOB: Right right. Well in any case, I donÂ’t kill people, so we can be BFF again! ... Let us make out with tongue.
BELLA: LetÂ’s not.
JACOB: Oh. Well in any case, weÂ’re not killing people, weÂ’re protecting them from our ONE ENEMY.
BELLA: ... Vampires?
JACOB: No, Riverdancers. Those fuckers are embarrassing.
BELLA: ...
JACOB: YES, vampires. The missing people are only missing because we got there too late to save them.
JACOB FANGIRLS: I KNEW HE WAS GOOD! BELLA BACK OFF, HEÂ’S MINE.
BELLA: So Laurent is killing people? You know, the vampire in the meadow you saved me from.
JACOB: Nah, we killed him.
BELLA: ... Are you fucking serious?
REMUS LUPIN: Teehee.
--
:
)
