Avenue Q - If you vere gay
Aah, an afternoon alone with
My favorite book, "broadway
Musicals of the 1940s."
No roommate to bother me
How could it get any better than this?
Oh, hi rod
Hi nicky
Hey rod, you'll never
Guess what happened to
Me on the subway this morning
This guy was smiling at me and talking to me
That's very interesting
He was being real friendly
And I think he was coming on to me
I think he might've thought I was gay
Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this?
Why should I care?
I don't care
What did you have for lunch today?
Oh, you don't have to get
All defensive about it, rod
I'm not getting defensive
What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay?
I'm trying to read
Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, rod
I just think it's something we should be able to talk about
I don't want to talk about it
Nicky! this conversation is over
Yeah, but
Over
Well, okay, but just so you know:
If you were gay
That'd be okay
I mean 'cause, hey
I'd like you anyway
Because you see
If it were me
I would feel free
To say that I was gay
(but I'm not gay.)
Nicky, please
I am trying to read
What?
If you were queer
Ah, nicky
I'd still be here
Nicky, I'm trying to read this book
Year after year
Nicky
Because you're dear
To me
Argh
And I know that you
What?
Would accept me too
I would?
If I told you today
"hey! guess what
I'm gay!"
(but I'm not gay.)
I'm happy
Just being with you
High button shoes, pal joey
So what should it
Matter to me
What you do in bed
With guys?
Nicky, that's gross
No it's not
If you were gay
I'd shout hooray
I am not listening
And here I'd stay
La la la la la
But I wouldn't get
In your way
Aaaah
You can count on me
To always be
Beside you every day
To tell you it's okay
You were just born
That way
And, as they say
It's in your dna
You're gay
But I'm not gay
If you were gay
Argh