IRC-Galleria

I have everything I need
I don't have anything I want
'cos when I get what I want
I just want some more
Never getting enough
Full of hope though

Anyway I'll live my life my own way
Searching the meaning of life
All the time
Afraid of finding it
Afraid of missing it
Trying to understand
Trying to be free

Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear
For I wear a mask, a thousand masks,
Masks that I'm afraid to take off
And none of them is me.

Pretending is an art that's second nature with me,
but don't be fooled,
for God's sake don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure,
that all is sunny and unruffled with me,
within as well as without,
that confidence is my name and coolness my game,
that the water's calm and I'm in command
and that I need no one,
but don't believe me.

My surface may be smooth but
my surface is my mask,
ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies confusion, and fear, and aloneness.
But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed.
That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant sophisticated facade,
to help me pretend,
to shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation,
my only hope, and I know it.
That is, if it is followed by acceptance,
If it is followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself
from my own self-built prison walls
from the barriers that I so painstakingly erect.
It's the only thing that will assure me
of what I can't assure myself,
that I'm really worth something.
But I don't tell you this. I don't dare to. I'm afraid to.

I'm afraid you'll think less of me,
that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing
and that you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate, pretending game
With a façade of assurance without
And a trembling child within.
So begins the glittering but empty parade of Masks,
And my life becomes a front.
I tell you everything that's really nothing,
and nothing of what's everything,
of what's crying within me.
So when I'm going through my routine
do not be fooled by what I'm saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying,
what I'd like to be able to say,
what for survival I need to say,
but what I can't say.

I don't like hiding.
I don't like playing superficial phony games.
I want to stop playing them.
I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me
but you've got to help me.
You've got to hold out your hand
even when that's the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes
the blank stare of the breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you're kind, and gentle, and encouraging,
each time you try to understand because you really care,
my heart begins to grow wings --
very small wings,
but wings!

With your power to touch me into feeling
you can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.
I want you to know how important you are to me,
how you can be a creator--an honest-to-God creator --
of the person that is me
if you choose to.
You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble,
you alone can remove my mask,
you alone can release me from the shadow-world of panic,
from my lonely prison,
if you choose to.
Please choose to.

Do not pass me by.
It will not be easy for you.
A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.
The nearer you approach me
the blinder I may strike back.
It's irrational, but despite what the books may say about man
often I am irrational.
I fight against the very thing I cry out for.
But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls
and in this lies my hope.
Please try to beat down those walls
with firm hands but with gentle hands
for a child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you may wonder?
I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet
and I am every woman you meet.

-- Charles C. Finn

Venomous report of our lifes

Hey, I heard you deplored you life sucks
But look around, you´re not alone
She is skint, dirty and she uses drugs
sleeping evry night under the boat
'cause she haven´t home any more

This is venomous report of our lifes
Somethin bad happens to evrybody sometimes
But it raise you up in high if you survive
Be strong, stand up
If you see the wall don´t stop
Run through it
Yes you can do it
oh yeah baby
Try to do it

Problems won´t ever ends
Get one off, the other appears
Keep care you always have friends
at least the one who never disappears
It is only way keep you alive

You have to fight if you want good life
Remember limits don´t drive over the line
Write the plans and throw away
cause you life is goin another way
you cant choose it if you don't try

This is venomous report of our lifes.. x2
You can do it
Doesn´t you?

You can do evrything if you want
Don´t just waitin, don´t just stand
Life goes, go you too
Take your dreams and make them true
If you really really want it

Saa kertoo rakentavaa palautetta, mm. missä on kielioppivirheitä yms :D jos joku jaksaa ees ettii niit kaikkii miljoonii x)

pisara

pisara

miksi valut?
miksi et nouse ylös?

käen kukkuessa rytmiä
ropisevat ne kattoon,

kaikki

itkien
itken

alla

mietin,
voiko tyhjyys sataa.


Suutelemalla
se kietoo minut alas

valuen pitkin pintojani
sisintäni

olen osa lehtiä,
jotka tarjoavat pinnan,
mistä pisarat rytmissä putoilevat

ja luonto naurahtaa.

Sateinen yö

rungot runkoja vasten
unessa maan alla

Saniaisetkin kukkivat

minä en

Aikoja sitten
kasteen hetkellä
istuit sylissä,

silloin

jalkasi eivät vielä kantaneet.

Taivaan pilvet ovat kiertäneet ylitse
tuoden lunta, vettä
ja jättäen tilaa auringolle,
joka on polkuasi valaissut

jo 19 vuotta.

Nyt,
kun hetki suutelee otsaasi
tiedät olevasi tulevaisuuden tiellä.

Tunne tuuli allasi,
tunne valo ylläsi,
tunne elämä suonissasi

kun tämä,
hetki vuosien,

nyt
mittaa uuden askeleen.

---
(Kirjoitettu sukulaiselle ylioppilasjuhliin)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfSrDjeUaAU

Kylmä tuli ihoani raatelee, huudan äänettömästi. Pimeä aurinko nousee, juoksen ottamatta askeltakaan.

Ja kun suljen silmäni vasta todella näen, hänen kasvonsa kirkkaat päällä pohjattoman meren.

Maistan mauttoman suudelman, kiellän kokemuksen kokemattoman. Annan verisateen minut kuivattaa.

Ilves lentää paikalle opastaen, kanssa suden pilvillä ratsastaen. Suljen silmäni ja näen. Musta aurinko nousee.

Pyörivä karuselli päästää äänen viimeisen.
Aika pysähtyy ja olen vihdoinkin... olen vihdoinkin. Olen vihdoinkin olematon.

Ja kaikki alkaa taas lopusta.

Maailma on outo paikka, se on täynnä ihmeellisiä kokemuksia.
Maailma pitää sisällään salaisuuksia ja pelkoja.

Ihmiset haluavat, mutta eivät aina saa.
Mitä siitä pitäisi oppia? Että joskus on valitettavaa?

Mutta jos tarkoitus onkin pelkkä vitutus.
Vitutus siitä, että liikkuu asiasta toiseen ja tulee harmitus.

Joskus on niin vaikea tietää, joskus ei vaan pääse eteenpäin.
Joskus on vaan niin vaikea irrottaa, joskus ei vaan sielu ilmennä itseään.

Miksi, miksi kaikki tämä?
Miksi, miksi vain kämmätä?

Miksi hämätä omaa itseään?
Miksi kärsiä kokematta parastaan?

Miksi kaikki on niin lähellä, mutta samaan aikaan niin kaukana?
Vaikka joskus hetkellisesti tietää, niin miksi se kuitenkin muuttuu kuin häviävä tuhkakasa?

Kuitenkin toivoo aina parasta, mutta riitääkö pelkkä toivo?
Onko avain kuitenkin todellisuuteen luottaminen vai pelkkä hetkellinen kaiho?

Miksi, milloin, missä?
Vaikeita kysymyksiä, kun tulevaisuus on aina vain edessä.

Muutos, sitä aina toivoo.
Kuitenkin ollut ajan orjana jo pitkän aikaa.

Muutos, kehitys, evoluutio. Rakkaus, pelko ja valo.
Ehkä joskus, toivottavasti pian voi kokea sen mikä on.

Päiväni aloitan lonkerolla maistuvalla, sellaisella poreilevalla helmiäisellä.

Kurkkuuni sen kulautan, tyhjän tölkin pöytään kopautan ja uuden tölkin taas auki sihautan.

Sama tahti jatkuu ja jatkuu, kunnes lonkero loppuu ja heikko mies sammuu.

Aamulla muistellen ihanaa lonkeroa ja maistuvia hetkiä.