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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: hi

Stranger: what would you like to talk about?

You: Orangutans

Stranger: ok theyre kinda red, arent they?

You: Yes, I happen to know one

You: his name is Clyde

You: he's a dick

Stranger: wow a red dick, amazing...

Stranger: is he as hairy as a orangutan?

You: Of course, he is an orangutan

You: and he loves monster trucks

Stranger: ok

You: all orangutans do

Stranger: sounds interesting

Stranger: so monster truck fans are orangutans?

You: he also likes to throw poop at people

Stranger: ok

You: some of them are

Stranger: but why is everything on omegle about dicks?

You: I'm talking about orangutans, they're fucking awesome

You: especially Clyde

Stranger: but you said hes a dick?

Stranger: and why should an orangutan have a name?

You: Because that's just the way it goes, all orangutans are named Clyde

Stranger: and why clyde?

Stranger: why not john

Stranger: or andy

Stranger: or harry

Stranger: why clyde?

You: It's an ancient tradition, all orangutans answer to that name

Stranger: ah ok

Stranger: they have kinda history?

Stranger: those poop-throwing monster truck fans?

You: Yeah, they get really mad if someone calls them with a different name. Doing that causes a shitstorm.

You: literally

Stranger: shitstorm lol

Stranger: but ok, lets talk about a new topic

Stranger: do you have some other interests than poop-throwing orangutans

Stranger: ?

You: Not really

Stranger: what about sport?

You: I occasionally play football with Clyde

Stranger: american football or soccer?

You: american football

You: so that Clyde gets to throw the ball around

Stranger: you mean the ball, or the poop?

You: that way he gets tired of throwing stuff so he doesn't start throwing poop at people when we go to the supermarket afterwards

Stranger: lol

Stranger: ok i will now leave you alone with clyde

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Puhuva Pää (se vanha)



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Alabama Man

Miksi sillä on 63 sydäntä? Menkää nyt jonnet jo vaikka nukkumaan. En klikkaa sydäntä vastapalvelukseksi, homot.

Maailman parhain juhannus.

KOUHEIKÖN! GIV DEES PIIPÖL EÖÄÖÄÖÄÖÄÄÖ!

Näin semmosta unta, että The Rolling Stones käski mua säveltämään niille uuden singlebiisin. Ohjelmoin midirummut soittamaan blastbeatia aivan vitun huonosti ja soitin kitaralla siihen päälle olutpullojen viivakoodien alla olleita numeroita peräkkäin ihan saatanan matalasta vireestä. Annoin tuolla tavalla syntyneen demon Keith Richardsille joka nyökkäili sitä kuunnellessaan hyväksyvästi ja totesi, että kunhan Mick Jagger lisää siihen lauluosuudet, homma kelpaa suoraan julkaistavaksi koska se on niin saatanan hyvä biisi.

Steven Seagal


Steven reagoi Morbid Angelin uuden levyn huonouteen: