IRC-Galleria

for the last month i have been thinking about things and have noticed something going on around me.
its all so fast. all my friends are moving so fast their life is like on constant fastforward when i feel like i'm in slow motion. they are all growing up and moving on to bigger better things and i am still in the same place in life i was when i was 17 years old...
i must admit... i feel kind of left behind.
all my friends are coupleing up... both Australian and Finnish...
and i feel... kinda lonely in that part of my life. suddenly every one has a some one, and i'm still awkward 17 year old..
thats what it feels like i guess. i think thats why i want a dog. a dogs never going to leave you, their your partner for their whole life and they never think that your too fat or your ugly this morning.. yeah.. i think thats why.
i kinda miss my family in Australia alot at the momnet... because with my family, i'm very close. i miss dylan, we were very close.
i miss getting tight hugs and jumping around.
i miss being in love...

i guess i should not complain. i have traveled so much to places people only dream about. and seen things people would never think of. i live a life thats never still.. but at the same time.. its lonely at the top.
i dont think i can ever be complete.. my two halves will never be one, because i can not bring Finland and Australia together. and both of them are who i am, and i wold love to be whole, but i dont think i can be.
i get stressed thinking about having to leave one behind...
i worry about losing friends who are more like family... i worry about losing family.

i'm lost in my own fog. i need some one to guild me out i think.
i want some icecream

hahah tonight was pretty fun.
but ahhh this morning... i was so sick.. it was a matter of not fearing i would die.. but more... fearing i wouldnt die i was in so much fucking pain!
and it last most of the day, but after that i went and actually had a lotta fun at omake. there was about 9 of us lotta food lots of fucked up animes and talks... it was really good i enjoyed it
and now i'm so full of food form it i look like i might be having twins >XP
but anyway.. anni.. my angel. she gave me 50€ for the rest of my time in finland. i'm not going to waste it, this money is for me to live on, and to enjoy my last days in helsinki or my last day in Oulu, what ever the case maybe.
tiia and cappi gave me a really useful gift... a food ticket for euromarket of 10€ so now i can go get more food.
life has been pretty good... i'm quiet content. its amazing... for a long time i dont feel angry or irritated or jelouas or betrayed... the only thing i think i suffer from right now is this over power feeling of being anxious... very anxious
like.. there are soooo many things in my life and doors.. i dont know which to chose or what is comming at me, its all rather... scary...
hmm yeah

mira has shorn me!!
i have no hair!! :D

hmmm i had my cards read last night... i dont believe in lots of things. but it was really creepy how close to my life it was
one card, that always shows up in my readings is death.. which creeps me out.
but death does not have to mean like... some one is going to die... it can mean the end of soemthing. it read... i have to let something die before i can move on..
so many choices...to chose from... what do i want to let die.

what does taryn want for christamas...
. DA SCARF!
.IRC SUBSCRIPTION
or
.DA ALCOHOLS!
(chocolate is also accepted XP)

oh man all week i have been having the most horrible nightmears.... its starting to freak me out!
on the other hand a game i have had since like.. forever... i finioaly got past the spot i was never able to get past for the first time last night! in like 4 years i havent been able to defeat cell from my DBZ game and now i have.... hahah... bahahahah i feel god-like XP

i do love the song Halo, by Beyoncé. its an ever inspiring song of beauty and love
and i think i'm now very desprate to get a hold of her new CD! but i shall have to wait till i return to autrslia where i can use my money that i have in my australian bank, but i dont think i will be able to spend too much money as i will be saving frantically like usual to get back to finland... its kinda apart of my being now... i just tend to miss everything no matter where i am.. hmmm.. maybe thats just my fate, that i have to be missing somehting all the time...
hmmm
i have been doing alot of thinking as of late... not the bets thing for me, becaus ei over think things and i'm paranoid normaly with out thinking hard about it.
i'm really greatful i have such good best firends... they save me from myself and remind me ii'm human i guess. i'm pretty stone you know... there is not much in my world that can hurt me mentally, i dont get upset easily and all. but the things that can hurt me... i cling onto them so that i can keep them safe, so that they cant jump out of the box and hurt me.
i have thrashed over the song Halo so much today... and then i decided to change the song and found somehting i like almost as much. its still by Beyoncé, on the same CD i would think. but i like this song so much. its so good to just sit and listen to and gather my thoughts.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYoR75iLLug&NR=1

i have a confession. i have always liked Beyoncé, like alot... and for a long time i liked her more then rihanna... i maybe still ish kinda do maybe not could be possibley.. however..
yep
i have one plan when i get off the plane... make a bee line for the FruCHOCS!!!!!! i miss them D: so bad and timtams!!!!
all things i have to send some people for christmas XP

you know what... i believe in True love and Soulmates, i'm not ashamed of that.
i always thought that your true love was your soulmate... but recent events and thing i have see have made me believe other wise. i think, i'm one of those people who doesnt have a true love. I hate and dont trust people too much any more to have and even if i find them i wouldnt let them in. But... i think i have a soul mate. you dont have to be romantic with your soul mate, or you can i think mostly. but that does not define a soulmate! a soul mate is some one your just meant to BE with. the other half of you, some one you spend all your life looking for so your complete. i was also such a incomplete person, but... i feel... complete.. when i'm infinland, and thats why i'm so desprate to be here i think.

Do you know where your heart is?
Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something
Somewhere better just to have it?
Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but
Nothing's turned out how you wanted

Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold

Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

Do you know what your fate is?
And are you trying to shake it?
You're doing your best and
Your best look
You're praying that you make it

Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold

Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

I said all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Better than you had it
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Yeah, better than you had it (Better than you had it)

I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

I said all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

Whenever the end is
Do you think you can see it?
Well, until you get there
Go on, go ahead and scream it
Just say it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMh-KyNXeSw

Remember those walls I built
Well baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make a sound
I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm takin'
I ain't never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo (halo) halo
I can see your halo (halo) halo
I can feel your halo (halo) halo
I can see your halo (halo) halo
Woah...

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light
I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity can't forget
To pull me to the ground again

Feels like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
The risk that I'm takin'
I'm never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo (halo) halo
I can see your halo (halo) halo
I can feel your halo (halo) halo
I can see your halo (halo) halo
I can feel your halo (halo) halo
I can see your halo (halo)
Halooooo ouuuu
Halooooo ouuuu
Halooooo ouuuu
Ouuuuu ouuuuu ouuuuu

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo (halo) halo
I can see your halo (halo) halo
I can feel your halo (halo) halo
I can see your halo (halo) halo
I can feel your halo (halo) halo
I can see your halo (halo) halo
I can feel your halo (halo) halo
I can see your halo (halo) halo

wow...
wolf creek was so much scaryer then dawn of the dead... dawn of the dead was just gross and unrealistic... wolf creek... was a true story... and.. fucking frightening.
maybe i might give these slash and gore USA's a chance.. their not scary... their funny XD
ahh poor yankies
oh well
XP
australias horror is much scaryer
amaricans horror is over the top

winner:
Australia duh!