IRC-Galleria

-Excuse me, doctor?
If you have a moment?

-A moment? What's the question?

-More of a situation: A gentleman in exam three.

-What's the problem?

-That is the problem.
We're not sure...

-You got the chart?

-Right here.

-Hmm, not much here is there?

-No doctor.

-No obvious physical trauma.

-Mmm, vital's are stable.

-Name?

-No sir.

-Someone drop him off?
Maybe we can speak to them.
Let's get some background on this fella.

-No ID, Nothing.
And he won't speak to anyone.

-Well then let's say hello.


-Good morning, I'm Doctor Marcy.
How are you today?

How... are you today? (echo)

-Look son,
You're in a safe place.
We want to help you, whatever way we can.
But we need to talk to you.
We can't help you otherwise.
Now what's happened?
Tell me everything.

---

Alrighty, then ... picture this if you will.

10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes,
in my "need to know" pose, just outside of Area 51
Contemplating the whole "chosen people" thingy
when a flaming stealth banana split the sky
like one would hope but never really expect
to see in a place like this.
Cutting right angle donuts on a dime
and stopping right at my Birkenstocks,
and me yelping...

Holy fucking shit!

Then the X-Files being,
Looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan
with Isabella Rossellini lips, and breath that reeked of
vanilla Chig Champa
Did a slow-mo Matrix descent
Outta the butt end of the banana vessel
And hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw,
and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip,
and all I could think was:
"I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice
that I pissed my fuckin' pants."

So light in his way,
Like an apparition, that
He had me crying out,
"Fuck me
It's gotta be
the Deadhead Chemistry
The blotter got right on top of me
Got me seein' E-motherfuckin'-T!"

And after calming me down
with some orange slices
and some fetal spooning,
E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose.
He said, "You are the Chosen One,
the One who will deliver the message.
A message of hope for those who choose to hear it
and a warning for those who do not."
Me. The Chosen One?
They chose me!!!
And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school.

You'd better...
You'd better...
You'd better...
You'd better listen.

Then he looked right through me
With somniferous almond eyes
Don't even know what that means
Must remember to write it down
This is so real
Like the time Dave floated away
See, my heart is pounding
'Cause this shit never happens to me

I can't breathe right now!

It was so real,
Like I woke up in Wonderland.
All sorta terrifying
I don't wanna be all alone
While I tell this story.
And can anyone tell me why
Y'all sound like Peanuts parents?
Will I ever be coming down?
This is so real
Finally, it's my lucky day
See, my heart is racing
'Cause this shit never happens to me

I can't breathe right now!

You believe me, don't you?
Please believe what I've just said!
See the Dead ain't touring
And this wasn't all in my head.
See, they took me by the hand
And invited me right in.
Then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin.

Strapped down to my bed
Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Can't remember what they said
God damn, shit the bed.

Hey ...

Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position.
Such a heavy burden now to be the One
Born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending,
To write it down for all the world to see.

But I forgot my pen
Shit the bed again ...
Typical.

Strapped down to my bed
Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Sun kissed and Sudafed
Gyroscopes and infrared
Won't help, I'm brain dead
Can't remember what they said
God damn, shit the bed

I can't remember what they said to me
Can't remember what they said to make me out to be the hero
Can't remember what they said
Bob help me!
Can't remember what they said

We don't know, and we won't know (x12)

God damn, shit the bed!

--

Triviaa :>

# Dr. Albert Hoffman was the inventor of LSD.

# The term "Stealth Bananna" was coined by the late comedian Bill Hicks in one of his comedy routines. Tool are self-proclaimed Hicks fans, and their album Ænima features a dedication to Hicks in the liner notes, as well as samplings of some of his comedy bits on the track Third Eye

# DMT (Dimethyltryptamine)is a powerful psychoactive substance. If DMT is smoked, injected, or orally ingested (along with an MAOI), it can produce powerful entheogenic experiences including true hallucinations (perceived extensions of reality)

# The Rosetta stone is a granite stone found in Egypt; the stone was the key to deciphering the hieroglyphs; it was also used as a pseudonym for children's author Dr. Seuss.

# To shit the bed is a phrase that means to fail, for example to forget ones pen when you must write something important down

# "Like the time Dave floated away" is a reference to all of the surreal stuff Dave Bowman sees at the end of 2001: A Space Odyssey as he floats away into the monolith.

# "You all sound like Peanut's Parents" is a reference to the Snoopy cartoons where the adult voices sound distorted.

# "Uncle Martin" is a reference to the character Ray Walston played on the 1960's T.V. show "My Favorite Martian"

# Bob help me is referring to a rant of Maynard's journal about God telling him his name was really Bob.