(Suoraan kopioitu deviantART journalistani)
Title may give you a sign of what Im going to talk about - again. Im getting down in mental healthy again, but I dont really want to mind about it. Maybe my healthy was ment to fall down suddenly, who knows. I just feel so darn quilty of what has happened during this autumn, Im angry and sad, depressed and feeling quilty. I dont really know what to do. I feel like I want to end this whole thing here, just release myself. Im like animal who's pursued against the corner, no way out and only one way in and it's stuck so I cant get out. This whole situation is awkward for me, Im really out of options, I dont know what to do or how to feel about this. I should've seen that I got poisoned since Ive never thot Kelmy to be that....like...umm...dunno how to describe...but like I got made to think of him... I can't blame Zerox/Razieleth for all of this, I made the big mistakes. This is second time I make really big mistakes...first time I was not forgiven but this time I am...its awkward too for me. But this is whole different situation than first time, it was different thing. No, not cheating or even close of that. Ive never cheated anyone, thats good thing, I never could. ERP is not cheating -_- its RP...for those who dont know.
Mehh..what am I? Thats the question Ive been wondering after I noticed what kind of man Razieleth/Zerox is. For most of the men Ive been together I seem to have been a toy or object... *sigh* I really dont know what I am then... maybe I just am a toy for men. But after all I want to believe that I am not, but its hard to trust on people anymore. Im just confused and depressed, I feel like I want to just escape this whole world.