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Dehydrated space monkeys

A package of mysterious dehydrated space monkeys was found under even more mysterious circumstances. Nasa space shuttle which left earth 10 days ago, on a mission to fly straight to Mars and back, suddenly started to send red alert singnal after only two days from the departure from the base. Nasa lost all communications whit the shuttle and thought it had been destroyed by a meteor.
On the day when the shuttle was to arrive from the Mars mission, the workers at Nasa space center found the shuttle in perfect condition at the shuttle runway. In front of the shuttle was a wooden box, that said: Dehydrated space monkeys, "Warning: Do not allow contents of package to mix with alcohol”.



Letter of complaint

I wish to return the dehydrated space monkeys I ordered from your internet store January 12, 1953. No after using the monkeys for over fifty years IÂ’m certain that the monkeys donÂ’t work like they ought to. My order number was 124-253-535-6423642-246 or it might have been 351-135-11636-31616-6136. but anyway.

The monkeys arrived in good condition, despite they were send to me all the way from the sun. the label at the bottom of the package said: mixing these dehydrated space monkeys with alcohol might cause hallucinations of space monkeys flying around your head. Well IÂ’ve been mixing the monkeys with alcohol for quite a while now and I still havenÂ’t seen any flying space monkeys. So I demand a full refund.

I would be grateful for the money because I really need to buy more booze, but if you think this matter is too old for any refunds, could you at least send me some more of those dehydrated space monkeys, they are really good especially when you mix them with really hard booze.

Yours sincerely: Mostimpecunious