IRC-Galleria

Hello and welcome to the mental health hotline..

If you are obessesive compulsive press 1 repeatedly

If you are co-dependant ask someone to press 2 for you

If you have multiple personalities press 3,4 5 and 6

If you are paranoid we know who you are and what you want..sty on the line and we ll trace your call

If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership

If you are schizophrenic listen carefully-a small voice will tell you which button to press

If you are depressive it doesnt matter which button you press, nobody will answer you

If you are dyslexic press 69, 69, 69, 69

If you are the nervous sort please fidget with the # key untill the beep, after the beeb please wait for the beeb

If you have a short term memory loss please try your call again later

And if you have low self esteem hang up- we are too busy to talk to you!