Wanna know how I got these scars? My father was … a drinker, and a fiend. And one night he comes home crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself; he doesn't like that. Not … one … bit. So, me watching – he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. He turns to me, and says … "Why so serious?" So, he comes at me with the knife, "Why so serious?!" He sticks the blade in my mouth, "Let's put a smile on that face!" And … why so serious?
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You look nervous. Is it the scars? You want to know how I got them? Come here. Hey, look at me.
So I had a wife, beautiful, like you. Who tells me, I worry too much. Who tells me, I ought to smile more.
Who gambles, and gets in deep with sharks. One day they carve her face. We have no money for surgeries. She can't take it! I just want to see her smile again. I just want her to know that I don't care about the scars. So I stick a razor in my mouth and do this... to myself. And you know what? She can't stand the sight of me! She leaves.
Now I see the funny side. Now I'm always smiling!
