Taoism: Shit Happens
Hinduism: This Shit Happened Before
Islam: If Shit Happens, Take a Hostage
Buddhism: When Shit Happens Is It Really Shit?
7th Day Adventist: Shit Happens On Saturday
Protestantism: Shit Won't Happen If I Work Harder
Catholicism: If Shit Happens, I Deserve It
Jehovah's Witness: Knock Knock, "Shit Happens"
Judaism: Why Does Shit Always Happen To Me?
Hare Krishna: Shit Happens Rama Rama Ding Dong
Atheism: No Shit
T. V. Evangelism: Send More Shit
Rastafarianism: Let's Smoke This Shit