IRC-Galleria

You say you got fysical love from me.
No, you didn`t.
You say i made love with "every man" in our town.
I couldn`t..

What do you get from that after all these years?

I have been one stupid teenage girl myself.
So one part of me understands this another one doesn`t.
Don`t you see, time has changed me to another direcion.
My direction is not drinking, sex and rock `n`roll.
Cool words to say but not very nice to feel it in action.

So, as i have heard from you or your friends or then their friends,
their have a picture of a girl who lives for drinks and sex.
But it feels so wrong in nowdays so if you need a proof then i can tell you.
If that is not enought you are always welcome to see it.

I ride a horse for a 3 times a week, i go my music lessons for a once a week, a lot of my time goest to my high school and it`s homeworks. I go occationally for a cafe with my friends. So that is parts of my nowdays life. I don`t think it`s bad when i left behind things that you keep in value. Actually i never felt this clear and i think you could try this too.. If it is not good to now maby later. You see sometimes drinks can take you to the unknown places.

You see i am in love with these "boring" days.
You see i like when it`s no "problem days".
You see when it`s lot of these "too much action days", you might just loose yourself to it.
And then there isn`t too much helping hands.

Ofcourse we all are young but it doesn`t mean we can`t take some responsability of ourselves.
I hate to think "mum will take care of my bills and she will take my worries as well".
She is a humanbeen too and i think i help her the best if i don`t get in troubles (or if i do then i could try to make it minimal).
Not just for her but also for myself.
There is a sad fact that if you hurt yourself the same pain is also in someone else`s heart.
Even there would be lonely moments in heart.
Thik if you had children like yourself (that`s a scary thought i think)

Have you ever written down everything of your life?
Have you seen how much is happened in these years?
I have tryed it as a therapy.
Didn`t work as a therapy but it helped me to see things i haven`t before.


Well.. I could ask you this way..
If there is 2 girls and bouth of them have their own diarys.
First girl writes this down:
"After my homework i went to the shop. My dad asked me to get some juice. But when i got into the shop i saw a cute boy and i forgot what to get. So i bought apples."
Second girl writes like this:
"Oh my gosh this morning.. I woke up next to this ugly man.. I can`t remember his name or how i got to here but one thing i remember and it`s not worth to remember. He was the worse in bed. I have never been so bored in bed.. He has a lot to learn.. Oh, and PS. i have terrible pain in my head..!"
So witch one was more interesting?

I hopefully keep this present way in me cuz´ it feels quite good. There is sometimes some dull moments but i prefer this than the times i watched your ways. I don`t mean to say very badly of your way of life but it didn`t fit in me. It was also my decision about how i lived my life.
I`d like to ask a favour from you.
Don`t talk over of my sexual experiences, there isn`t so much as you say.
Perhaps i should be happy that you haven`t forgotten me but still i keep those couple friends that i got from there with me.. And you could just leave me..