IRC-Galleria

My name is Ash,
and I am a slave.
It wasn't always like this.
I had a real life... once.
A job.
Amm.. Hardware, out 12.Shop smart, shop S-Mart.
I had a wonderful girlfriend...

Necronomicon Ex Mortis.The Book Of The Dead.
Bound in human flesh
and inked in blood.

It was never ment for the world of the living.
The book awoke something dark in the woods.

it came for me.
It got into my hand and it went bad.
So I lopped it off at the wrist.
But that didn't stop it.
It came back.

Who are you?
Who want's to know?
I am Henry the Red. Duke of Shale, Lord of the Northlands and leader of its people.
Well hello mister Mr. Fancypants.
I got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things now: Jack and shit.
And Jack left town.

Yeah. All right you primitive screwheads! Listen up!
See this?!
This is my BOOM-STICK!
12 gauge double-bareled Remington,S-Mart's top of the line.
You can find this on sporting good's department.That's right this sweet baby was made
in Grandrappids Michigen.
Retails are about 109.95$
It has a wallnut stock, cobalt blue steel and a hear trigger.
That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart!
YOU GOT THAT!

I pray thee to forgive me, my lord.I believed thee one of Henry's men.
First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. Blow.

If the Necronomicon falls into the hands of Deadites,
the whole mankind can be consumed by this evil.
Now, will thou quest for the book?!
That one.
Groovie!

What's the matter? Raised in a barn?Shut the door.

This path will lead you to an unholy place, a cemetery.There a Necronomicon awates.
When thou retreves the book from its cradle you must recite the words:
Clatoo, Verata, Nicto.
Clatoo, Verata, Nicto. OK.
Well, repeat them.
Clatoo, Verata, Nicto.
Again!
I got it! I got it! I know your damn words alright?!

Three books?!
Wait a minute. Hold it.
Nobody said anything about three books.
Like... like what am I supposed to do?
Take one book, or all books?
Or... or what?

Ouh, wait a minute... the words... rght, right, right.
Say the words.
CLATOO...
VERATA...
N...
Nicty, Nictor, Nicle...
It's an "N" word. Definitely an "N" word.
CLATOO, VERATA, N@$#*%^!...
OK than. That's it!
Hey, wait a minute. Everything's cool.
I said the words!

When you removed the Necronomicon from the cradle, did you speak the words?
-Yeah, basically... -Did you speak the exact words?
Well maybe I didn't say every single tiny little syllable, no, but basically I said them,
yeah.
Damn thee fool! Thou has doomed us all! When thee spoke the words the army of the dead awoke!

Go ahead and run! Run home and cry to mama!
Me, I threw running! I say we stay here and fight it out.
Are all men from the future loud mouth braggarts?!
Nope. Just me baby. Just me.

Oh you crazy bitch, get off me!
You found me beautiful once.
Honey, you got real ugly.

The book tells us that once you drink this liquid,
and recite the words: Clatoo, Verata, Nicto--
thou shall awaken in thou own time.
Remember, you must recite the words exactly.

They offered me a chance to lead them, teach them... to...
to be king!
But my place is here,
so I swallow the juice, said the words,
and here I am.
Did you said the words right this time?
Well maybe I didn't say every single tiny little syllable, no, but basically I said them,
yeah.
Basically...

Lady I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the store.
Who the hell are you?!
Name's Ash...
House-wares.
I'll swallow your soul!
Come get some.

Sure I could 've stayed in the past...
coul of even been king...
But in my own way... I am king.
Hail to the king baby.