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You don't know what it feels like..
You can never understand how it hurts..
I will never know how it feels..
I will never understand the differences..

I sit alone again in my little seat
I once again wonder how could it be.
The sun is coming down,
When loud I say.
''Again nothing came for me today''

You can't understand how it feels
When, you wait for someone call for you and you answer for the stranger.
You can't understand the ones are always playing alone.
That we all can't with friend groups get along.

I take one paper from my map.
I take a pencil and a lollipop.
I image in my mind my tomorrow.
And image the friend of dreams on the paper yesterday I drew.

You can't understand how it feels
When, you wait for someone call for you and you answer for the stranger.
You can't understand the ones are always playing alone.
That we all can't with friend groups get along.

..I can't understand how it feels when you have friends.
The ones and only who borrow you their wings.
I can never know what is it like.
When someone calls and asks could they come to stop by.

Can anybody get us?
Can anyone show us this pity once?
...Could they, give us a gift?
..So that I could just know..
..So that we could just know..
Show us lighted way to kindness..
Don't leave us friendless..
Everyone deserve a second change and a friend.
Take hand and give us some help~

You can't understand how it feels
When, you wait for someone call for you and you answer for the stranger.
You can't understand the ones are always playing alone.
That we all can't with friend groups get along....

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=yhHK-Bz7W0s

♫ ♪ ♫ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫

It's funny that way, you can get used
To the tears and the pain
What a child will believe
You never loved me

You can't hurt me now
I got away from you
I never thought I would

You can't make me cry
You once had the power
I never felt so good about myself

Seems like yesterday
I lay down next to your boots and I prayed
For your anger to end
Oh Father, I have sinned

You can't hurt me now
I got away from you
I never thought I would

You can't make me cry
You once had the power
I never felt so good about myself

Oh Father, you never wanted to live that way
You never wanted to hurt me
Why am I running away

Oh Father, you never wanted to live that way
You never wanted to hurt me
Why am I running away

Maybe someday
When I look back I'll be able to say
You didn't mean to be cruel
Somebody hurt you too

You can't hurt me now
I got away from you
I never thought I would

You can't make me cry
You once had the power
I never felt so good

You can't hurt me now
I got away from you
I never thought I would

You can't make me cry
You once had the power
I never felt so good about myself

♫ ♪ ♫ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫

... I don't know dad if you can hear me... or granpa are you there watching.. .. I don't know if you care anymore about me but ... . . I need guide now.. .. I am alone.. I have two friends.. . and one is going to leave for summer.. and the nother one is working.. . I lost my everything today.. . my summer and my life for now is ruined.. *tears fall*.. .. you know.. if you would still be alive granpa I would come to you and settle all the fights and do as you say and make you happy.... and for dad, that you and mum wouldn't have broke up I wouldn't be born.. if I could choose. I don't know what's gonna happen now, I.. I suppose Nora is having free time with her friends and enjoy for summer.. she has so many of them that now I am away from her it really doesn't matter for her now she is not alone... she can still go by her plans.. I can't... i won't go to Animecon alone.. .. have pity or then cry even more looking happy people... my pray is a friend.. . A.. new one.. one I could trust.. ... have faith.. . maybe love who knows.. understanding.. get more with her/his help.. Love let me down the last time..... I will be on my own with that.. being single can't be so bad.... I can do it with time.. the depression I've had for 5 months now.. I haven't told anyone.. anyone who reads this knows then.. It's getting worse now and my eating. .. well... not hungry at all.. may be that this is my last summer... if I won't get weighter it will be the end.. I really hope it wouldn't.. I wanna have sometime in my life fun too... friends know how it feels... please.. ... . . I do anything.... that I don't need to be alone....

Amen.

I'll do anything, I will be working hard at school I clean my room~I'll be good~I won't give it up now~

There're the streets almost art
Super shineing are the stars,
The 10th grade, in the city

There's excitement in the air
our brains fuse together
The 10th grade in the city.

Our class, we almost just met
but I think you are number ones my true mates
in the city.

metal music and drinking mess
Just there 10th grade in the city.

We ruin the buildings,
laugh at the fool teens,
Paint the walls
The night is young
we just jump high under the cars
And no-one tells us what to do
it's great to be so free

And we are having fun
just 10th grade in the city
Having lots of fun
just 10th grade in the city
yes we're having fun
just 10th grade in the city

I feel it at school. I have no idea how can that kind of pain come out when they reach near me. I try avoid, I try not to think, try to tell myself that I am stronger than them, why to let them take a control of me. I mean, who needs it?
Hating people if my way to live, like Vegeta, my dad and my fiance are one part of who I am. It doesn't take anything back from me, it just has so much to give me. After I hate long, I forget it and forgive people. It's my way. When I was in junior high, I was the one they bullied and called by names( slut bitch.lesbion, Fucking ugly etc. ). This one girl did it in front of class and like a army of Hitler they were with her applauding and laughing at me. However, that was long time ago and so horrible and sad story that I don't even want to write about it. It seems like I find something being wrong where ever I am schooling. What is the reason? Why do I always seem to get in some troubles? Could I find answer from inside me? Am I actually making them? Might it be because I am so strong inside and have so many talents and files inside me that it is actually annoying them? What about the ones who don't tease me? Do not they care? or is it kinda same for them if they don't know me. I know what I am and I know how am I going to get over all the bad things has happend to me. I lost my dad long ago. I never met him even I wanted to. My mother refused to tell about him to me till I was enough old. In these days she says that she was dumbed so many times at the time I was born that she didn't want my dad to leave her too and disappoint his daughter with it too. I am not quite so sure did father want to stay and see me and know what am I going to be like. I really wonder. People are thinking that am I okey with myself if I hate so many people. I have an answer for them. I don't hate anybody without a reason, if they haven't DONE anything to me. Good enough reason seems to be even if the person angers me, with personality or something that he/she does just to make people like them. I hate peolpe like that, who cannot be able to be their selfs. It is very weak. Being strong is that you can be your self and show it. If you think that shit tastes good and others say that it is bad then if you say what you really think then it's right. Who cares what other people think of you. I don't really care. Not anymore. Because I noticed that being typical, and mean, I didn't have friends. It wasn't really me. I hated the people. When I showed my true feelings, and true me they understood me better and I got some friends. I am not shy. I can talk to people, go to new places with no friends around me, I will always have somebody near anyway. I've got use to make starts alone and with pride.
I have my lovely fiance Nora. I met her couple of years ago. It was like faith. We met 1 year ago in net, and then again after year, PUM we were together. She lives very far away from me and the messenger is almost our only way to see. We talk in phone, we textmessage and see each other. Seeing is difficult because it eats so much money to travel and when she comes here she wants to buy something also. She doesn't come here only for shopping, of course she wants to see me too but shopping is one part of women nature don't you think? -- people are guessing is our relationship only like being friends who are together but it is sex also I can say. It's not impossible at all. if you love someone the loving finds the ways of love making. we love each other and are going to live together some day. It won't be a problem when our parents are just fine with us and happy to see us.
My life is not very easy always. It has been very hard right from when I was only a little child. Mother wanted to protect me, but it is impossible to try protect me from getting troubles or bullied. I wish that when the 10th grade is over I am gonna get peace in my soul and life and I wish I don't need to see those dummies ever, never again. I deserve to get it after 10 years.


The one they ignore..
The one they want to leave.
The one always play alone.
The one they didn't understand that they do hurt.
That one person one or two noticed.
Hey she is not so bad.
The ones made her smile.
The ones gave her honor and proud.
She didn't play alone, mean while.
The school was denying her existing.
She will move on.
Somebody will love her and take her home.
The others die and have pains in their grave.
No-one take her down.

~Miki

This world was never fated
By gods created
It will never be recovered
After what we have done on it.

Wish the people could realize
That the earth is peaceable
So with the ground and sky,
It battles humankind with its own fire-arms.

Listen to your whisper of your heart,
Listen to your conscience of your .
People make a stand and finish fighting
You are killing animals and nature by hunting
Listen the whisper of your heart
Is that what it tells you to do?

Listen, listen the mother earth
her powers get lower every day and night.
No winter no day light
Animals are vanishing by races and spices.
Some morning in future sun won't arise.

Listen to your whisper of your heart,
Listen to your conscience of your .
People make a stand and finish fighting
You are killing animals and nature by hunting
Listen the whisper of your heart
Is that what it tells you to do?

People open your blind eyes
You show foolishness
humiliate the human race.
Unless in other case, blind eyes will be opened for a new day and time

Listen to your whisper of your heart,
Listen to your conscience of your .
People make a stand and finish fighting
You are killing animals and nature by hunting
Listen the whisper of your heart
Is that what it tells you to do?

Listen what does tell your heart

oo siellä jossain mun - pmmp
he is there somewhere my own - XxGokuranxX

You told me that after three years we are gonna have time
so much that we don't know what will we do with it all
Mother took me to see my past castle and we see the star
The shooting star on it's way to wonderland
it's holding on fathers who got for their daughters time

Am I waiting for my father with wasteing time
What if it will happend what it always does
fathers come and leave never back for stay
Who decides the ones have their fathers love
he is there somewhere my own.

I filled up table with plates and classes for whole family
thought even I know father never was and will never be here with us.
Could he love me the same way I wanted, till he dies.
The sunrises colors are painted by my sorrow in my heart.
the most beautifull.

Am I waiting for my father with wasteing time
What if it will happend what it always does
fathers come and leave never back for stay
Who decides the ones have their fathers love
He is there somewhere my own.

Hope is gone, it's end right now.
I won't wait him call me no more.

Am I waiting for my father with wasteing time
What if it will happend what it always does
fathers come and leave never back for stay
Who decides the ones have their fathers love
he is there somewhere my own.

People lie.
People promise to do something,
but they don't.
People do naughty things.
People change.
But one thing people will never do.
Is sacrifice own self, for someone else.
One man, can safe the group.
But one man rather safe own self,
than think of the others instead his own.

For this, way too many people have died.

HEY!

The dream was never the same
But same lines it had, on the other side
My talents on the walls, fell down
You came, helped on your own.
Have to act cool now

Then..You raced up your face
From the thoughts in my mind.
Brown eyes smile,Angel in light
I can't say goodbye,
have to say right
This time I won't fight, cause I know
Now you've calmed down too, for this while
That the pain that I feel slowly fades away.
We'll be alright.

Your act I should've realized
Something you're going to ask
I suddenly touch your hair
tell you are gentleman and strong
You laugh and answer this a way

Come out walk in the shadows with me
From the thoughts in my mind.
Brown eyes smile,Angel in light
I can't say goodbye,
have to say right
This time I won't fight, cause I know
Now you've calmed down too, for this while
That the pain that I feel slowly fades away.
We'll be alright.

Oh, this night is too long.
Have no strength to go on.
But still answer is yes.
I will come and be a princess
Of an angel, who calls my name.
I remember you're the reason I have to stay.

His lips become one with my own
From the thoughts in my mind.
Brown eyes smile,Angel in light
I can't say goodbye,
have to say right
This time I won't fight, cause I know
Now you've calmed down too, for this while
That the pain that I feel slowly fades away.
We'll be alright.

... I won't tell who I was dreaming 'cause it was actually a nightmare..