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kivari1v

YHÄ HENGISSÄ!!!

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--------- OLUT VS PILLU --------Lauantai 10.05.2008 07:13

Miehen elämän kulmakivet.

Illan ottelussa tänään:



OLUT VS. PIMPPA
=======================
1. Olut on aina märkää, pimppa voi vaatia hieman työtä.
Piste OLUELLE.
2. Lämmin olut maistuu hirveälle.
Piste PIMPALLE
3. Todella kylmä olut on mahtavaa.
Piste OLUELLE
4. Jos oluestasi löytyy karva, on laatta lähellä.
Piste PIMPALLE
5. Jos tulet kotiin haisten oluelle voi vaimosi suuttua, saada kohtauksen tai jopa potkia
Sinut kartanolle jne. Jos tulet kotiin haisten pimpalle voi vaimosi suuttua, saada kohtauksen,
Potkia sinut kartanolle tai jättää sinut. Riippuen nyt maailmankatsomuksestasi ja eri näkökulmista,
Päätetään tämä kohta TASAN.
6. Kymmenen olutta illalla ja et pysty ajamaan kotiin. Kymmenen pimppaa illalla ja et edes halua kotiin.
Piste PIMPALLE
7. Jos nautit paljon olutta julkisella paikalla, maineesi voi kärsiä. Jos nautit pimppaa julkisella paikalla, sinusta tulee legenda.
Piste PIMPALLE.
8. Jos poliisi pysäyttää sinut ja haiset oluelle, sinut voidaan pidättää. Jos poliisi pysäyttää sinut ja haiset pimpalle
Saattaa poliisi tarjota sinulle oluen.
Piste PIMPALLE.
9. Yleensä et löydä vanhentunutta olutta.
Piste OLUELLE.
10. Liikaa olutta ja luulet näkeväsi ufoja. Liikaa pimppaa ja luulet näkeväsi jumalan.
Piste PIMPALLE.
11. Etiketin repiminen on tylsää. Pikkuhousujen repiminen on hauskaa.
Piste PIMPALLE.
12. Oluesta pitää maksaa veroa.
Piste PIMPALLE.
13. Jos otat toisenkin oluen, ensimmäinen ei ole siitä moksiskaan
Piste OLUELLE.
14. Olet aina se ensimmäinen, joka oluen avaa.
Piste OLUELLE.
15. Jos ravistat olutta, se kuohuu hetken mutta asettuu lopulta.
Piste OLUELLE.
16. Oluessa on aina vaihtoehtoja: Lager, porter, pilsner, ale jne. Tosin on niitä pimpassakin: vaalea, brunette, tumma, aasialainen, eskimo jne.
Päätetään tämäkin kohta TASAN.
17. Tiedät aina, paljon olut maksaa.
Piste OLUELLE.
18. Oluella ei ole äitiä.
Piste OLUELLE.
19. Olutta ei tarvitse halailla puolta tuntia nauttimisen jälkeen.
Piste OLUELLE.
LOPULLISET PISTEET: OLUT: 10, PIMPPA: 9.
Kisa on ratkennut!! Kiistaton, onnellinen voittaja on OLUT!!!
Ps. Jos olet nainen, ja vedät tästä herneet nokkaan ja mökötyttää niin maan vietävästi, niin muista että OLUT ei näin tekisi, ei edes häviön sattuessa.
Yksi Piste OLUELLE



[Ei aihetta]Perjantai 09.05.2008 20:37

eheheheeeee xD

- Mitä siitä seuraisi, jos ihminen olisi sitä sairaampi, mitä suuremmat aivot hänellä olisi, Pikku-Kalle kysyi isältä.

- Siitä seuraisi, että poliisit olisivat maailman tervein ammattikunta, isä arvelee.

horoskooppi seksin jälkeeLauantai 26.04.2008 14:11

SEKSIN JÄLKEEN:

-OINAS: uudestaan!

-HÄRKÄ: ruokaa...

-KAKSONEN: missäkaukosäädin on?

-RAPU: milloin pidetään häät?

-LEIJONA: enkö ollutkin fantastinen?

-NEITSYT: ylös,lakanat on vaihdettava!

-VAAKA: pidin äskeisestä,jos sinäkin pidit?!

-SKORPIONI: hetki,etsin avaimen ja avaan käsirautasi.

-JOUSIMIES: soitellaan!

-KAURIS: oiskos sulla käyntikorttia?

-VESIMIES: uusiks,mut nyt ilman vaatteita..

-KALAT: mikä sun nimesolikaan
37 asiaa, jotka olemme oppineet pornoleffoista

1. Naiset pitävät korkokenkiä sängyssä.
2. Miehillä seisoo aina.
3. Kun mies nuolee naista, 10 sekuntia on tarpeeksi.
4. Jos tuntematon mies yllättää naisen masturboimasta, hän ei nolostu,
vaan vaatii miestä naimaan häntä.
5. Naiset hymyilevät tyytyväisenä kun mies roiskii spermat hänen naamalleen.
6. Nuoret kauniit naiset nauttivat seksistä rumien keski-ikäisten miesten kanssa.
7. Naiset ääntelevät kiihkeästi ottaessaan suihin.
8. Nainen saa aina orgasmin samaan aikaan kun mies.
9. Suihinotto pelastaa naisen aina sakoilta.
10. Kaikki naiset ovat äänekkäitä sängyssä.
11. Ihmiset eivät osanneet naida 70-luvulla ilman taustalla soivaa kitarasooloa.
12. Kaikki rinnat ovat aitoja.
13. Miehen yleisin ja nautinnollisin seksitapa on lätkiä puolivelttoa penistä naisen takamukseen.
14. Miehet huutavat aina OH YEAH! kun he laukeavat.
15. Jos miehiä on kaksi, he lyövät kädet yhteen lauetessaan ja nainen hymyilee sille.
16. Tuplayhdyntä saa naiset hymyilemään vienosti.
17. Aasialaisia miehiä ei ole olemassa.
18. Jos törmäät luonnossa naiskentelevaan pariskuntaan,
mies ei välitä vaikka työnnät mulkkusi naisen suuhun.
19. Kaikessa on juoni.
20. Kun ottaa naisen takaapäin, mies voi todella kiihottaa naista läpsimällä häntä persukselle.
21. Hoitajattaret ottavat miespotilailta suihin.
22. Miehet vetävät mulkkunsa aina ulos ennen laukeamista.
23. Kun tyttöystäväsi yllättää sinut naimasta hänen parasta ystävätärtään, hän suuttuu hetkeksi,
mutta kun jatkat naimista, niin hän liittyy seuraan.
24. Naisilla ei ole päänsärkyja, eikä kuukautisia.
25. Kun nainen ottaa mieheltä suihin, miehen on tärkeää muistuttaa jatkuvasti "ime sitä".
26. Persereiät ovat aina puhtaita.
27. Kun mies laukeaa naisen mahalle/selkään/takapuolelle, niin nainen saa orgasmin.
28. Naiset näyttävät aina yllättyneiltä löytäessään miehen housuista peniksen.
29. Kun mies seisoo suihinoton aikana, hänen toinen käsi on aina naisen pään takana
ja toinen ylpeästi lantiolla.
30. Miehet eivät anele.
31. Kun mies yllättää kaksi naista naimasta nämä pyytävät häntä välittömästi mukaan.
32. Kylähullutkin saavat pillua
33. Kaljutkin saavat pillua
34. Kaljut saavat pillua kahdelta naiselta samaan aikaan.
35. Nunnatkin antavat pillua ja ottavat poskeen.
36. Mikä tahansa tilaisuus, jossa on koolla 4-20 ihmistä, useimmiten päättyy ryhmäseksiin.
37. Kaikki tilaisuudet, joissa on läsnä nunnia ja kaljuja miehiä, päättyvät ryhmäseksiin.
A= seksikäs
B= yllätyksellinen
C= asioitaan jakava ihminen
D= varma
E= kekseliäs
F= cool
G= hauska
H= on aina siellä
I= enkeli
J= kaunis
K= saa aina kaiken sen mitä hän haluaa
L= itsepäinen
M= pahis
N= fantisoiva
O= suojelee kavereitaan
P= pehmeä
Q= ei valehtele melkein koskaan
R= saanut tarpeekseen pojista/tytöistä
S= ylläpitää yhteyden hyvin
T= kiusallinen
U= mukava
V= ei valehtele koskaan
W= paljon kärsvällisyyttä
X= hassu
Y= äänekäs
Z= hyvä kuuntelemaan
Å= kohtelias
Ä= ei mene selän taakse
Ö= kiva

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Auta kissaa valloittamaan Irc-Galleria
Lisäämällä tämä sinun päiväkirjaasi :D

(kaveri)kansioTorstai 02.08.2007 06:20

emppuemil,toni-man,pek-11,emssum82,jmoe,sarixxx,_N_innu,tuge85,Stenkku1,silyak,antsa80,
-eve-x,
keljukoo77,juusopappa,stoned__,socahonta

[Ei aihetta]Tiistai 29.05.2007 18:01

Menee se aika näinkii paremman tekemisen puuttees vaik viel on aika vaikea tajuista yksin opetella tätä säätämist

alkuTorstai 24.05.2007 06:20

Tietokoneen käytön opettelu on jo johtanut tähän pisteeseen ja kehitys jatkuu... saas nähä mikä on seuraava askel IRC:n jälkee?
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