ThereÂ’s a light at the end of every tunnel... just pray that its not a train.
Men are like toilets, either occupied or full of sh*t .
God created men first, cause you always make a rough draft before a masterpiece.
I used to be indecisive, but now i'm not so sure.
If you cant beat them...find a bigger stick.
I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes stuck in my nose.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
Forget love id rather fall in chocalate.
Make sure you eat all the main food types:fas, frozen, microwave.....
Never eat yellow snow!
Everyone tells you to get over it. But what if you're too small or it's too high?
I never met a calorie i didn't like!
Three things men can't say- i'm wrong, i'm lost, i can't fix it.
If somethings too hard, then its not worth doing.
I'm okay with being unimpressive. I sleep better.
I feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Then again, I just ate a squirrel.
Guys are like slinkies... It's always fun to watch them fall down the stairs.
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.
Click your ruby heels and say 'I need a life, I need a life!
It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
Dont talk to strangers.....unless there extremely good looking.
"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is." Ellen DeGeneres
I Was Lying On My Bed, Looking Up At The Stars,When Suddenly I Was Like, ‘Where The f**k Is My Ceiling?’
EvryoneÂ’s Entitled to be Stupid But U are Abusing The Privilige
I Tried Sniffing Coke But The Ice Cubes Got Stuck Up My Nose