"One green bottle... sitting on the wall... hic... one greeeeen bottle... sitting on the wall... and if one... hic... greeeeen bottle should accidentally... oops..."
Kurt stumbled as he crossed his room towards the bathroom, inadvertently knocking over several of the empty beer bottles on his night stand.
It'd been a good couple of hours now since he'd arrived home and he'd already polished off 6 beers and the entire bag of chips. Now he was bored and wanted to dance.
Leaning against the frame of his shelving unit, Kurt unplugged his iPod, and by unplugged Kurt meant that he thumped random buttons until the sounds stopped coming out of the speakers.
'Ooh, chilli fries... I want chilli fries...'
Gripping the shelving for support, heedless of the CD cases cascading onto the floor in his wake, Kurt shuffled over to his vanity and to his cell.
Picking it up... and dropping it... Kurt fished it out of the tub of sour cream and licked the gizmo clean.
Grinning like a loon, Kurt flicked through his messages until he stopped on one from an unknown number.
'Who is unknown number? Do I know unknown number? Is he in math with me maybe?'
Deciding he'd investigate, he opened a drawer on his vanity and emptied the contents onto the floor beside him. Sinking down into the soft bundle, Kurt sifted through the assorted hats around him until he found his white deerstalker from when he was eight.
Stretching the fabric over his now far too big head, Kurt decided he now looked sufficiently like Sherlock Holmes to be able to do some first-class detecting.
Pressing the call button on his phone, he held it to his ear the wrong way up while the line clicked and then connected.
"Hello?" came the sleepy voice on the other end of the line.
"Is it me your looking for?" giggled Kurt before shushing himself.
"Kurt?" Noah's voice was concerned, "... have you been drinking?"
"Why yesh... I have Mr Unknown Number, did you know that from sharing my math class with me? My hat is making my head very warm so I'm not sure how much longer I can be talking to you."
"Kurt... what?" said an obviously sleep deprived and severely confused Noah.
"..." Instead of replying to the boy Kurt decided he'd rather blow raspberries... so he did.
"Kurt... where's your Dad?" he asked wondering what the best way to make him aware of his son's current condition was. It was so unlike Kurt to lose control of himself like this.
"Gone sleeping with fishes called Hanky Lester... he'll be back tomorrow." Kurt yawned and stretched.
"OK..." said Noah, resolve firming up.
"I'm coming over, don't leave the house."
"OK Mr Number Sir. The key is under the mate.. map... mat..."
With that Kurt pressed 'end call' and the cell screen went dark.
:D:D:D go Kurt
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