IRC-Galleria

Nine Inch Whales is an Albanian hip-hop act that was created in 1984 as the brainchild of Jimbo Wales as a means of raising money to support his debilitating Wikipedia habit.

Conceived to be a new version of the always popular boy band, it rivalled other popular acts such as New Kids on the Block and Madonna.

Nine Inch Whales was first signed to a major record label in 1985, but due to a tragic motorcycle accident, their first record Pretty Hate Machine was delayed by several years. It was released to lukewarm media acceptance and sold like room temperature cakes.

Nonetheless, it featured the popular singles "Sin" and "The Safety Dance".

Following a period of creative inconsistency and a break-up with live-in lover Mahatma Gandhi, NIW released their next album The Downward Spiral in 1994, which was known only for the popular Fuck You Like an Whale song.

NIW toured extensively across the US and China, discovering Florida-based act Marilyn Manson along the way. They got along famously and have since enjoyed a long and productive friendship, although insider sources question whether they are 'too close to just be friends'.

In 1999, NIW unleashed their third studio album, called "The Emotionally Secure". Cameos abounded in this album, including vocals from Manson, former inspiration Madonna, and Jesus, whom they accepted as Lord and Saviour during the Downward Spiral tour.

These days fans the world over (except for those fuckheads in Morocco) are anxiously awaiting NIW's new studio album, tentatively called "With Baleen". Internet leaks of their first single "Sk8r Boi", complete with a video portraying NIW dressed as pigs, have only whetted fans appetites but they were quickly satiated with what observers described as a 'delicious-looking ham sandwich'.

As Nine Inch Whales happens to be the only source of energy for the entire Midwest, the United States Government is pursuing a project that could possibly make Nine Inch Whales split into three. Nine, Inch, and Whales (the three branches) would be used as fuel for the giant nuclear reactor that is located deep within the centre of The Downward Spiral.

They also tortured monkeys and killed living things for their own entertainment (including a gothy dude), then released it into a "Video Cassete Tape" for everyone to see. It was called "Unfixed", and it started the ESPN drought of 2347 AC. It was a horrible year in history.

NIW next album is due March 31. 2010.