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- Vanhemmat »
Chuck Norris does not cut his grass, he simply stares at it and dares it to grow

Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus

Chuck NorrisÂ’s tears can cure cancerÂ…..too bad heÂ’s never cried.

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

The only thing we have to fear is fear itselfÂ… The only thing fear has to fear is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

Before going to bed every night the Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light on. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark,but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Corris once got in a knife fightÂ…the knife lost.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris can touch M.C. Hammer

When Chuck Norris jumps in a pool he doesnÂ’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesnÂ’t read books, he stares them down until they give him the information he needs.

When God said, “Let there be light,” Chuck Norris said, “Say please.”

Chuck was once round himself on an elevator with G-unit when they came out, they were white.

Chuck Norris died once. The Grim Reaper is still recovering.

Chuck Norris doesÂ’nt throw grenades, grenades throw Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesnÂ’t do push upsÂ….He pushes the earth down.

Chuck Norris doesent wear a watchÂ….. he decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a boner, there were no survivors.

Chuck Norrises sperm once went through 13 condoms a brick wall and the 1975 steelers offensive line.

When a black cat crosses Chuck Norris, it explodes

Chuck Norris does not walk. He is simply moving the earth with his feet.

Chuck Norris does not wear clothes, it is just his powers of illusion.
- Vanhemmat »