I looked up. The empty sky was all dark. Small snowflakes were falling from the sky and I felt cold. A tear. It caim tough I tried to stop it. I tried to hide my pain and anger. I just couldn't hide it anymore. There I was... standing in the darkness and looking at the sky. I was alone, no one there to comfort me. I don't need anyone, not anymore.
A small voice was whispering to me... "you are alone... you are not good enough... you are insignificant... no one cares about you... no one needs you." I felt it, I kind of knew it was partly true. I can see the truth, if I want to. But the point is... do I?
What do I really want? I want to be happy. I want to love and to be loved. I want to have something I have have never had. The feeling of total happyness and the feeling that everything is allright. I want to hear "I love you." I want to... I just want to be able to smile without faking it.
The small voice wasn't whispering anymore... It was shouting. "ALONE! NOT ENOUGH! INSIGNIFICANT! NO ONE!" And then... the most hurtfull tought of them all... "no one loves you..."
SHUT UP!!! I shouted to the darkness... shut up.... I cried towards the sky. I don't need anyone, not anymore. I can manage by my self. I understand my self, I know what is for the best for me. I can manage by my self...really, I can... Tears falling I looked at the black sky. I looked to the blackness of eternity.
The sky showed no kind of reflect to my words. Silence binted me to the darkness as my tears were falling along my cheek and making my skarf go all wet. I kneeled down in the snow. I hid my face with my hands. I sat in the snow and cried, still keeping my eyes focused on the sky. I was waiting for somekind of a sign. Somekind of a sign to tell me that someone has noticed that I exist. Anything... please...
I don't know how long I sat there. Time felt to be stopped. Every snowflake seemed to be falling forever. Every tought seemed to be chained to my mind, leaving me without a chance of escaping.
