IRC-Galleria

ohhhh god what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkvLlY7SkUc&feature=related

D= the horror!!!!!!!!!!!

11 days... thats all i have left in finland... and its killing me inside. i try not to talk about it with people, but it keeps coming out of my mouth, i cant help it its all thats on my mind. and even worse... i only have 3 days left in Oulu.
i dont know how i'm going to manage a second time in Australia... i was so lonely and depressed last time, i dont want to go back to that. i love my family, and australian friends i do, but... i'm so misrable there... i dont wnat to go back, i cant stand it. when i was in australia everything was so different and i hated it, i couldnt find myself there... and being gone from finland for so long, when i came back... every one had changed, and i'm terrified...
that i'll end up alone in both worlds.

me and any other friend who wants to come are going to Onnela on thursday this week because its cheapper to get in and its kinda like my going away party ish for my friends in oulu who cant come say good bye in Helsinki. so yeah
come get drunk with me i only have 10 days left in the country before i have to suffer at least 6 months back in australia >XP

oh god i love this man!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnrFSfZ0T_I

and his new songs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCEDG9kvRtE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBnihNlc-vI&NR=1
i mean how can you not love him, he so adorable and has the most insane voice and lyrics!!!

for the last month i have been thinking about things and have noticed something going on around me.
its all so fast. all my friends are moving so fast their life is like on constant fastforward when i feel like i'm in slow motion. they are all growing up and moving on to bigger better things and i am still in the same place in life i was when i was 17 years old...
i must admit... i feel kind of left behind.
all my friends are coupleing up... both Australian and Finnish...
and i feel... kinda lonely in that part of my life. suddenly every one has a some one, and i'm still awkward 17 year old..
thats what it feels like i guess. i think thats why i want a dog. a dogs never going to leave you, their your partner for their whole life and they never think that your too fat or your ugly this morning.. yeah.. i think thats why.
i kinda miss my family in Australia alot at the momnet... because with my family, i'm very close. i miss dylan, we were very close.
i miss getting tight hugs and jumping around.
i miss being in love...

i guess i should not complain. i have traveled so much to places people only dream about. and seen things people would never think of. i live a life thats never still.. but at the same time.. its lonely at the top.
i dont think i can ever be complete.. my two halves will never be one, because i can not bring Finland and Australia together. and both of them are who i am, and i wold love to be whole, but i dont think i can be.
i get stressed thinking about having to leave one behind...
i worry about losing friends who are more like family... i worry about losing family.

i'm lost in my own fog. i need some one to guild me out i think.
i want some icecream

hahah tonight was pretty fun.
but ahhh this morning... i was so sick.. it was a matter of not fearing i would die.. but more... fearing i wouldnt die i was in so much fucking pain!
and it last most of the day, but after that i went and actually had a lotta fun at omake. there was about 9 of us lotta food lots of fucked up animes and talks... it was really good i enjoyed it
and now i'm so full of food form it i look like i might be having twins >XP
but anyway.. anni.. my angel. she gave me 50€ for the rest of my time in finland. i'm not going to waste it, this money is for me to live on, and to enjoy my last days in helsinki or my last day in Oulu, what ever the case maybe.
tiia and cappi gave me a really useful gift... a food ticket for euromarket of 10€ so now i can go get more food.
life has been pretty good... i'm quiet content. its amazing... for a long time i dont feel angry or irritated or jelouas or betrayed... the only thing i think i suffer from right now is this over power feeling of being anxious... very anxious
like.. there are soooo many things in my life and doors.. i dont know which to chose or what is comming at me, its all rather... scary...
hmm yeah

mira has shorn me!!
i have no hair!! :D

hmmm i had my cards read last night... i dont believe in lots of things. but it was really creepy how close to my life it was
one card, that always shows up in my readings is death.. which creeps me out.
but death does not have to mean like... some one is going to die... it can mean the end of soemthing. it read... i have to let something die before i can move on..
so many choices...to chose from... what do i want to let die.

what does taryn want for christamas...
. DA SCARF!
.IRC SUBSCRIPTION
or
.DA ALCOHOLS!
(chocolate is also accepted XP)