IRC-Galleria

so i did it.
i did it yesterday.

feeling today....
dont know.
but it something not so nice.
but i talked with my self (at the smae time like to granny up there)
about what i am really loosing by ending this relationship. nothing. just bad things that i am loosing.
the good memories will keep on as good memories. but the latest time has just been strange and irritating and malo.
feeling ways. wibes. yes and wierd.

i have kissed some wierd toads....

but i hope we can stay friends (we dont need to hang) but i just mean like not enemies. like some one who can help if needed. yeah.

but i am really looking forward not beeing in his silent energy anymore.
away from taht negativity, and wirdness.
bringing me down with what he says and how he says it. to end this capter is great.
it was really nice in the beginning. but the last couple of moths have just been..... well wierd. like what have we been up to?
dont think about it so damn much. some people come and they go from your life. doesnt always have to be such a big deal.

really not.
i hope he learned something during this relationship.

but i dont think he really did. learn what his behaivour causes in other people.
he just said, that the relationship could work i he learned to accept some things (and thet i would change certain things)
hahah

so not that he woul dhave to change anything.... man he is so up there, on his high horse. never coming down. never needing to.

i will ofcourse miss the precence of someone, the company. the fact that someone know what i am doing everyday and knows that i am alive.


i don´t think he will ever have kids.
and thats propably for the best.

he´ll be lucky if he finds a woman. who can stand him. and who he likes.
i dont know what he really likes. what did he like about me?
that i was diffirent and a bit odd?
my looks?
my body? the sx?
did he think i as cute? did he like my smile or my eyes?

when did he like me? when i did what?
oh well.

we did talk about these things in the beginning. maybe they are in th ewhats up conversation.
it was good in the beginning.
he does have something resembling a heart, deep down in there.
but he is a lot like an ice pick. i think its his upbringing. i dont know what his dad did to him. how his mother treated him.
but i think its there where he gets it from.

ill never know.

ill never meet them.
and thats just as good.
i gotto get back to me. the positive, loving me.
i still have a lot to give.

and so much more to give.
he couldn´t recieve it cos he didnt really look for closeness.

such a wrong guy for me. such a good riddence.

thanks for the dance.



he said he is going on saturday. so tomorrow.

he actualy asked me how i slept tonight (!) he asked me!
he never askes me
unless its followed by acomplaint. i said good.
he said he had slept good aswell.

wow... he just asked how i slept.... without any hidden agenda.
i have been surpriced every since, this morning.
it just felt nice. but really stange since he nearly never has asked me something like that, how has your day been, how did you sleep?

it´s always me asking those kind of questions and him just answering: -...errhhn.
what ever that meeans..


ok so lets drop it there. alone is scary, but we have been there before. many times. with a dog and two cats, ive been there.
i am not completenly alone. but when you feel alone, just straighten your back, and do things your way.
at least there will not be anyone in the way, bringing you down with their negative attitude, and their expectasions and conditions. my way now. my way

dont know where im going but its going to me my way.